Was Sorta Hoping That You'd Stay
by PizzaAndBeer
Summary: Feliciano was everything that was good in the world. Ludwig realized that even before the most terrible of his failures, he would have never felt himself worthy of this person's affections. But he had received them anyway and he must begin to try to make good on them. GerIta! WW2 -current. Bad Touch Trio! Alfred, Arthur, and Romano. COMPLETE, but extras soon!
1. Falling

**Author's Note****:**

I've never even really considered writing a song fic before. But I've very recently fallen completely in love with **"Do I Wanna Know" by the Artic Monkeys** and I just couldn't help relating it to **GerIta**. If you would like to listen to the song, it's pretty easy to search up on Youtube. **You don't even have to read the song lyrics to understand the story. **But I did read over them multiple times as I wrote each section, trying to draw the emotions out of them and show them in Ludwig and Feliciano + some other characters. So if you do read the lyrics, I think you will be able to see them in the story.

Also, **This story is already like 90% done****. **It's going to be at least 8 chapters, 7.5 of which are done and only need to be edited before posted. Then I'm going to add some epilogues, I think. But feel free to shout out what you might like to see. I'll totally considering adding it. I'll try to have the whole thing up in a like a week or two.

**I don't own Hetalia Axis Powers or "Do I Wanna Know" by The Artic Monkeys. **

**I really wish I owned Doitsu, though ;) Out of Curiosity, who would you like to own? **

**Anyway, enjoy!**

**Was Sorta Hoping That You'd Stay**

"Have you got colour in your cheeks?  
Do you ever get that fear that you can't shift  
The type that sticks around like something's in your teeth?  
Are there some aces up your sleeve?  
Have you no idea that you're in deep?  
I dreamt about you nearly every night this week  
How many secrets can you keep?  
'Cause there's this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow and I play it on repeat  
Until I fall asleep  
Spilling drinks on my settee"

**Modern Berlin**

Ludwig lay back on his den sofa. His German Shepard puppy, Odin, was curled comfortably on his stomach. He was still wearing his running gear, black sweat pants and a gray, sleeveless t-shirt featuring Paule, the black eagle that was the official mascot of his country's football team. His hair was pushed out of his face with a gray headband. It was all dirty and sweaty. He would normally have never let it touch his furniture, even if it was black leather. But today his thoughts were a jumble and he really just needed to hide from Feliciano and take a deep breath. It was becoming embarrassing, how much time he felt the need to hide in his own home.

As it usually was when he took Feliciano along for company, his run had be an absolute disaster ending with the smaller nation running directly into a park bench and barreling over it to smack his face on the asphalt with a nasty slapping sound. Feliciano had sobbed like a little child. Ludwig had been in a dead panic, thinking he had surely cracked his skull. But he had spent some of his many years studying medicine and quickly understood that it was only going to leave a nasty looking scab for a week or so. He'd tried to assure Feliciano of as much, but the tiny Italian nation only cried harder holding onto his face with his hands.

Ludwig had carried him home, cradling him against his chest. Feliciano continued to whimper, burying his face in the larger man's shirt. They gained a lot of curious glances from onlookers. Even in modern Germany, men were held to a high ideal of what was masculine. He tried not to look any of them in the face and ignore the growing heat in his cheeks. Even more so he tried to ignore the comfort he took from holding the little Italian like this. He thought he'd locked those thoughts away during the war, so that they would never claw their way back to the surface. But Feliciano had been gone for so many of those years since. He and his country had abandoned Germany, as Ludwig knew they rightly should have. It had stung him all the same.

The sting had slowly faded into his old reclusiveness, only occasionally broken by Gilbert on his way to or from sneaking someone through the Berlin wall. It had all been very safe and expected Gilbert's company, in the way that only a brother's can be. The visits had been bright, persistent lights breaking the darkness that had hung over him since those years in the Third Reich. Still, the albino's presence just never burned all the way through like Feliciano. The little Italian had a way of breaking down his carefully constructed ideologies with a simple turn of phrase and he didn't even know he was doing it.

As soon as the war had been over long enough for the human scars to heal and the diplomats to look the other way, Feliciano had been back on his door step. Ludwig had been just as frightened of him as he was thrilled to see him. It was as if the sun had shone into his home for the first time in an age. The year had been 1995, five full years after the reunification. By the early 2000s, he practically lived in Ludwig's home again. Every day since the little Italian had arrived Ludwig was surer of, yet more fearful, of his feelings.

During the war, when he had fear and anger to stave off his desire, it had been easier to brush Feliciano's curious behavior away. He was defenseless now. He had begun to have more dreams of holding Feliciano in his arms, than nightmares of the Nazi era. He was having trouble choosing which was worse, dreams of crimes he could no longer take back or dreams of risk he was unwilling to take. Ludwig tried not to sleep too much. It didn't help that Feliciano tended to decide sleep with him and that he didn't know what to make of those actions. He knew that when Feliciano went home, he slept with Lovino. But what he didn't know is if he clung to his older brother's arms and whispered that they made him feel safe. He expected that he didn't. But Ludwig was a logical man, incapable of jumping to conclusions.

When they had arrived back at the high-rise apartment he kept in the capitol, Ludwig had feed the smaller nation a hardy does of pain killers and run him a large, warm bath complete with bubbles. He then lied, saying that the walk had sorely exhausted him and that he needed his rest. He only stopped on his way to lock himself in his study to ask the girl from the maid service to cook an excessive amount of pasta, the Italian way, and make sure Feliciano ate it. She happily went off to do as she was told, all of the girls from the maid service loved to work them because they hardly had to do anything as Ludwig did a lot of the cleaning himself. Plus, they all got to learn how to make authentic Italian food.

The German Nation's Berlin flat was top of the line modern, all shiny surfaces in monotone colors. It was also small and the walls were thin. He could easily close his eyes, zone out of his own thoughts, and just meditate on the sounds around him: The maid's heels clicking on the hardwood, pots being clanked in the kitchen, cars on the road outside, someone yelling about selling newspapers, a bird that he thought was robin chirped nearby, wind rattled the window screen. Feliciano was humming in the bath, just two doors down, something he had done for a long as Ludwig had known him.

_He must be feeling a little better _the German Nation thought, running his fingers behind the puppy's ears. _I knew that the bubbles would cheer him….never mind that I was dreaming about him and bubbles last night. _He blushed at the recollection, sighing aloud. His dog looked up at him in concern.

"It's nothing you can fix" he assured him. He seemed to understand, returning head to Ludwig's chest.

He closed his eyes and listened again. The girl had the water boiling now and she had begun to chop something. Perhaps, it was mushrooms. Feliciano loved mushrooms in his pasta and he had just bought a fresh bundle of them. A small splash sounded, followed by Feliciano's feet plopping wetly onto the bathroom floor. The little Italian sighed a little, Ludwig found the sound adorable. He could well envision the sleepy face Feliciano made as he uttered it. He would no doubt have his midday siesta after he ate. He reflected on that it was strange how contently the Nations could become stuck in their ways and still easily adjust from one stage to another in time. Whenever he could, as long a Ludwig hand known him, Feliciano went to sleep at midday after having a glass of wine. Years ago, it would have had to have been well-made Italian wine. These days, he rather enjoyed mixing it up. He'd even recently begun to like to experiment with the candy-like farces that were sold at gas stations and drug stores. Leave it to Feliciano to enjoy the most childish kind of booze possible. He often got really drunk on that kind.

When Feliciano got drunk, at least a couple nights a week, he would always be very affectionate with Ludwig. He clung to him, wrapped his hands around his arm like a woman, and even kissed his cheeks. He always pretended not to like it as much as he did, often he would excuse himself to somewhere he would be alone. He would think on the sounds then. He was sure he had never thanked Kiku enough for teaching him this trick. The Japanese Nation had a simple understanding of things that he would never be able to grasp on his own. Sometimes, it just wasn't enough though. The stress of his attraction to the Italian, the feelings of helplessness and embarrassment related to acting on it, just became far too much. He drank good booze then, the kind that burned when it went down. More than once, he'd awoken to bottle still sitting in his hand as if he'd been clinging to it like a life raft. Other times he took very long showers, that weren't particularly for the sake of cleanliness, and allowed himself to think on how he might express his feelings to his Italian friend. Mostly though, it was running. The showers made him feel like a pervert, despite what other kinks he accepted that he had, and he had to be careful about drinking. He'd drunk far too much after the war and only the reunification of Germany, resulting in a great deal of his elder brother's careful attention, had sat him back right. Running was clearance for his mind. Feliciano had come to stay with him for his entire three months in the capitol this year. He had little to no business of his own to attend to there, so he was always around. Ludwig was running about twice a day, every day, now.

After a while, Ludwig couldn't stand to sit still any longer. He rose from the sofa, after setting his fury friend gently on the rug, and put on a record of hypnotic opera songs that the little Italian had given him. He allowed himself a long shot of Jaeger out of the bottle. Moments later, the knock he had anticipated came. He opened the door to a beaming Feliciano, despite the long scab that ran from forehead by the side of his right eye. He was in finely tailored black pants, a matching vest and a pink button down open at the top to revel his iron cross necklace. He still wore it, despite all that happened, stating it as a symbol of their friendship. But he never let anyone see it, except Ludwig. The German Nation had melted his own in the fire.

"Yay, you're listening to my record" Feliciano said, bouncing into the room. He flopped down on the sofa and propped his pink sock feet on the back. Ludwig offered him the bottle of Jaeger, at which he crinkled his nose. It was all fantastically adorable. Ludwig longed to wrap him up in a hug and kiss the scar on his forehead. But he was the proud Nation of Germany and even if Feliciano was not frightened by such behavior, he could not afford to have a boyfriend. Ludwig had been with many men, but he had never carried one on his arm for the world to see and he could not keep someone as precious to him as Feliciano locked in the closet.

* * *

I made Odin up. I thought Ludwig would be the kind of person to name a dog after a powerful Norse god.

I'm my own beta, so forgive me if I looked over a bit of something.

**In the next chapter**, we visit the early days of WW2 and Kiku comes into the plot. Also, Ludwig wears a kimono. Plus, there's sexual tension!

**Reviews and favorites encourage me to spend even more time daydreaming about my OTP.** So I'm not sure if they're good or not, but I really appreciate receiving them. **Thanks so much for reading.**

**Oh, And if you liked this story, you might want to check out my Ludwig/Holy Rome GerIta. **It's a complete one-shot called "Well, Do You Still Love Me Then?" and can be accessed on my profile page.


	2. Sleeping

Was Sorta Hoping That You'd Stay 2

"(Do I wanna know)  
If this feeling flows both ways?  
(Sad to see you go)  
Was sort of hoping that you'd stay  
(Baby we both know)  
That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day"

**Early WW2, Japan**

By the halfway point of the war, Ludwig knew that all was lost for the glory of Germany and the health of his people. He'd known for a while. Really, he'd known the first time he saw a Jew wearing a star. She'd been a young woman with dark blonde hair in pig tails, frail, incapable of harming anyone at all, and yet labeled as the disease that was eating the country from within. Ludwig had lived hundreds of years. He'd know better than a frightened child with a Jewish ancestry being the downfall of his homeland. He'd known and no one would listen. He'd never before been so powerless to a leader of his people. Men of the 20th century didn't want to believe in his connection to the land, to the citizens, because they could not prove it with science. They called his centuries of experience old-fashioned and foolish. Gilbert had tried as well; he'd received even more skepticism and a comment from the Fuhrer about being a "weak, mistake of nature" due to his albino condition.

They took his people and sorted them by blood, overlooking the more important bonds of nationality and culture. He wanted so desperately to run, too hide, to not see what he could not change. But he had a duty to his soldiers, normal men who knew nothing of him as he truly was: but only as a trusted commander. He had to keep some of them whole, bring them what victory he still could. He had a duty to his fellow Nations as well. Doing what he still could was all that kept him going, that and the smile of certain fellow Nation.

Ludwig had spent the first few months of the war inseparable from his fellow Axis members, planning what was then still a war to free his homeland from the oppressive conditions caused by the last war. He had been wary of his countries new government, but not yet as frightened and outraged as he would come to be. He'd lived in Kiku's traditional seaside villa at that time, along with Feliciano. Most of their waking hours there had been spent in determined planning and vigorous training. But the late hours of the evening had been a peaceful time. Despite having held him captive during the First World War, this was the first time that Ludwig had ever truly known Feliciano in the way that one can only come to know someone that they treat as an equal. The little Italian grated on his nerves because he was so frivolous when compared with the men he was used to. He was near impossible to train and eating appeared to be his top priority, closely followed by painting and napping. He just couldn't comprehend how this was the representation of an entire, powerful country.

One evening, he shared his views on Feliciano with Kiku. The little Italian had fallen to sleep under the kotatzu table, after which Ludwig had accompanied the Japanese Nation to his luxurious hot springs. Kiku had laughed his quiet way at Ludwig's exasperated description of their ally.

"You're looking at it all wrong, Mr. Germany" he'd corrected him. "Feliciano is indeed everything you say he is. He is lazy, un-athletic, and childish. But he is all these things because they suit his true talents. Our Italian counterpart is kind and artistically gifted, both traits I wish more people and Nations possessed. Look for the good, not the weak, in our friend from now on. You will like what you see".

Ludwig was shamed by Kiku's perspective. He put it to work immediately. He quickly noted that though Feliciano was somewhat scatterbrained in his battle plans, they were always suggested with the safety of his people and the soldiers in mind. He always wanted to know if they had to fight a battle in a certain place at all. Yesterday, Ludwig had seen these questions aimed at avoiding fights as cowardice on the part of the Italian Nation. Today, he saw in them the kindness that Kiku had asked him to look for.

He also noticed that though during their training Feliciano often failed to accomplish the task he set for him, he did earnestly give them the best he could. Ludwig began to give him easier tasks, hoping that he could slowly move him up to more powerful ones. He noticed Kiku watching them from where he was training with his samurai across the yard. The Japanese Nation was smiling, a rare sight. That evening, when Feliciano had once again fallen asleep early, Kiku took out the maps of Italy they had been using to plan for the battles ahead. He pointed to a small signature in the upper left had corner, reading _Feliciano Vargas with notes by Lovino. _

"Feliciano-kun drew this entire map. It is very fine, is it not?" Kiku asked.

Ludwig quickly admitted that it was. He noted earlier that it was a particularly lovely map. It looked like a watercolor and yet it was as usefully realistic as any other map. Ludwig began to watch very carefully over Feliciano, trying to utilize his talents in the way that was most beneficial to the Axis. He soon learned that much like he did with map, Feliciano had a way of adding an extra dash of his personality to everything and in doing so gave it a beauty. True, sometimes this added fashion was somewhat detrimental. Before he had even really realized it, Ludwig's attentions to the Italian Nation had grown protective and even a little sexual.

He blamed it on himself not finding the Japanese people attractive and quickly struck up a romantic relationship with the most handsome of his personal retainers. However, it didn't last very long and he ended up having to send the man home over the backlash. He was too fixated on Feliciano. He distracted himself with fantasy fairly well: thoughts of ways he could use the hot springs, the koatsu, anything Feliciano happened to be standing near at the time.

Still, there was one night on which he made a painful slip-up. It was very late, closer to morning than evening. Ludwig was sitting on the private porch of his room that overlooked the ocean beyond, loosely wearing a red silk kimono, and drinking directly from a sake bottle. Disturbing news of more legislation about the concentration camps of the Nazi regimen had come to him in a letter from Gilbert that was old before it had arrived. His brother had seemed more enthusiastic about this way of detaining war criminals than Ludwig would have liked. Surely Gilbert, even being blinded by his love of a fight, must know it wouldn't end with war criminals. Ludwig had been ruminating on these thoughts for quite some time when the quiet knock had come at his door.

"Who's there?" Ludwig called from where he sat, wondering who it could be at such an hour. He hastily picked up his revolver.

"Feliciano".

"Come in" Ludwig called, putting his gun behind him where the skittish man wouldn't notice it.

Feliciano too was wearing a kimono, green silk covered in pale flowers. It shimmered in the candle light. He looked like he had been crying, but that wasn't anything knew. He joined Ludwig on the dock, folding his legs to the side in a feminine manner. It was then that Ludwig noticed he also had a pale flower behind his left ear and that it was identical to the one on the kimono.

"It's a Japanese Moon Flower" The Italian Nation explained. He must have seen Ludwig looking at it. "There are a lot of them growing outside my room, Mr. Germany. You're welcome to come see them".

"But I've been to your room and I never saw them" Ludwig commented.

"They only bloom at night, Doitsu" Feliciano explained. "That's why they call them moon flowers".

"Oh, I thought it was the color" Ludwig replied, feeling somewhat stupid. "What do you mean, Doitsu?"

"Mr. Japan taught me the Japanese words for our nations, you're Doitsu".

"Oh, I see" Ludwig replied. Now he felt really stupid. "Why did you come to see me so late"?

"I'm lonesome and I've noticed that you're up a lot a night, do you mind" The little Italian asked, looking down.

"No. I don't mind. I get somewhat lonesome here as well. I guess it's the foreign place" Ludwig assured him.

"Thank you, Doitsu!" Feliciano smiled brightly and Ludwig wanted to kiss the smile. He began to doubt how good it was to let Feliciano stay with him at night. "I wasn't always so lonesome here. I spent all day with you and Mr. Japan, and then I sometimes went to town to talk to pretty girls. But Lovino sent me a letter, my brother, he seems very frustrated with the things I wrote him last. He says I sound like I'm on a sight-seeing tour or something. But I think mostly that Roma is just sad about big brother, Spain. The country of Spain isn't our ally in the war, as you know. But you might not know that my brother and I, him more than me, are very close with Antonio. It's very difficult for Roma not to see him as much as he has in the past".

"Your brother is a powerful nation, I'm sure he will handle it gracefully".

"Yes, I suppose you're right. Lovino is so much stronger than me. I don't know what would happen to Italy without him. I don't deserve much of the credit" Feliciano agreed. His golden eyes seemed to be looking off at his home nation and his brother across the waves.

"Italy certainly wouldn't be as beautiful without you" Ludwig offered. He'd meant it as a compliment to Italy's fantastic artistic heritage, realizing a moment too late that it could taken as a compliment to his personal beauty. The smaller Nation blushed in response.

"Thank you. It's true that Romano is more of fighter, than an artist. It's as if each of us were half of Grandpa Rome".

"I am a great admirer of Rome" Ludwig admitted.

"He would have liked you".

"You mean that?" Ludwig asked, feeling honored.

"Oh, yes. My Grandfather always had a grand respect and bit of an appetite for strong, practical men like you". Ludwig knew he was blushing now; he could feel the heat in his face. "He was probably a little disappointed that Roma and I came out so frail. But Antonio did better". Ludwig wanted to reassure Feliciano that he was handsome enough, but he had already called him pretty once in this conversation.

"You grandfather liked men?" he asked instead. He'd known that was a thing among the Romans, but not that it was a trait of Rome himself.

"He liked attractive people" Feliciano corrected, kindly. "Lovino, Antonio, and I are much the same". Ludwig was more pleased by this information than he'd liked to admit to himself. He'd expected as much since they'd met.

"I see" Ludwig observed when the silence had gone on a little long and he could have sworn Feliciano was looking at his exposed leg.

"Would you like to come see the moon flowers, Mr. Germany?" Feliciano inquired. Ludwig nodded.

_Is he trying to lure me to his bedroom? _The German wondered.

They walked silently down the hall, no sound but the swish their kimono's on the floor, a single candle lighting their way. Feliciano's room was on the other side of the house, facing the forest. As soon as he slid it open, the smell of the white flowers hit Ludwig. It was wonderfully sweet. He'd left his patio open and Ludwig could see hundreds of them shining in the moonlight.

"Aren't they wonderful?" Feliciano asked.

"Yes, very" Ludwig agreed, walking out to look at them closer.

"It's a shame that they'll be gone in the morning" Feliciano said wistfully. Ludwig knew it was about more than the flowers.

"Thank you for bringing me too them" He told the Italian Nation, earnestly.

"Thank you for coming" Feliciano replied. "Have a glass of wine that my Lovino sent, despite how angry he is at me". They sat on cushions in the floor. The wine was rich, sweet, and red.

"Your people make fine wine" Ludwig complemented him.

"It'd because the land is very good for the grapes".

"I'm sure it's more than that" Ludwig pressed.

"It is. But it wouldn't be the same without the land" Feliciano agreed. "We've never just talked like this before. Let's do it again".

"We can" Ludwig agreed cordially, but it caused feeling in him he didn't really want to feed. You can't just send away a fellow Nation when romances don't work out.

"You don't sound so enthused and I thought we were having a good time" The little Italian teased.

"You sound much more serious than you usually do?" Ludwig countered.

"I'm tired and sad" Feliciano admitted, taking a deep drink.

"Should I leave you to sleep then?" Ludwig asked, hoping to escape and wanting to stay all at once.

"I was sorta hoping that you'd stay*****" Feliciano said seriously. "At home, I sleep with my brother. I don't care for being alone at night. It's been lonely here".

Ludwig couldn't leave him after that. They went to bed on top of the blanket wearing their Kimonos. Feliciano took his face in his hands and kissed it on both cheeks in the typical Italian way. Ludwig thought he was going to spontaneously combust.

_Surely, he doesn't know what he's doing _Ludwig thought, clinching his hands in the blankets.

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable" Feliciano quickly apologized, pulling away.

"You just shocked me" Ludwig lied. "Go to sleep".

The mistake did not take place until the morning. Ludwig woke up groggily to the little Italian sleeping soundly next to him, his hair a delightful mess, and his kimono was hanging open to revel a smooth, beautifully tan chest. Before his rational thinking had kicked in, he was running his right hand into Feliciano's hair and kissing him good morning. Feliciano's lips opened to his and the kiss grew deeper. Passion flooded him and suddenly he was awake enough to know who and where he was. He quickly pulled away in shock and then jumped to his feet, one side of his kimono hanging down off his chest. Feliciano was looking at him with wide eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Feliciano" He apologized "I wasn't awake enough to know what I was doing". He looked away from the little Italian's eyes. No one said anything for a moment. Then Feliciano spoke up in his usual cheerful voice, so different from the one of the night before.

"Don't worry, Doitsu. You must have been having a much better dream than mine… That happened once at big brother Spain's house too. Lovino was so angry with him. Lovino is always angry. Anyway, let's go have some breakfast. I'll make pasta".

Somehow, the smile on the Italian's face seemed forced. But Ludwig wanted to convince himself that he'd imagined it. They had chicken alfredo for breakfast, which sat better with Ludwig than he'd thought it would, and the Italian Nation seemed more than fine after that.

_Perhaps he just not a morning person _Ludwig told himself. He didn't really believe it.

* * *

**Please Review!**Let Me know how you feel about, what you would expect to happen next!

**In the next Chapter,** Ludwig become West Germany and Alfred delivers a message from Felicano.

***T****he star mark in the story**, when Felicano says "Was sorta hoping that you'd stay", is to indicate a direct quote of a line from "**Do I Wanna Know" by the Arctic Monkeys**. Again, I really recommend the song!

**Thanks so much for reading! **


	3. Writing

**Thanks to 12KataangHeart's for being this fic's 1st favorite and follower! If Feli could, I'm sure he would hug you! **

**Be warned! **There is sex in the chapter and it is not GerIta. You'll have to read to find out exactly which nations are involved! -_^

* * *

"Crawling back to you  
Ever thought of calling when you've had a few?  
'Cause I always do  
Maybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new  
Now I've thought it through"

**West Germany**

Ludwig was too heartbroken by the end of the Second World War to put up much of a fight when Alfred came for him. He'd packed the few things he wanted to bring with him hours earlier. The German was found waiting on the sofa in living room of his country home, drinking very strong coffee. When the other nation broke down the door, gun up and looking for a fight, Ludwig had offered him a cup. The American nation had looked wary, as if he expected it to be a trap.

"I was only being kind" Ludwig had said in a quiet voice, he didn't recognize. "I can be kind". He sat the cup down neatly on the table and picked up his suitcase, signaling that he was ready leave.

"Sweet Jesus" Alfred had whispered, horror in his eyes.

The German nation had gone willing into the back of the armored truck, somewhat surprised when Alfred climbed in after him. They took off a moment later.

"I don't why you're here" Ludwig said in observation, rather than question. He wondered vaguely if Alfred was going to try to hurt him. He knew he could take him, but he couldn't decide if he really even wanted to fight. A few weeks ago, it would have been a wonderful outlet for his anger. He would have beaten the American bloody, aiming particularly to mess up his pretty face, and then laughed about. He seemed to have lost his anger down a deep well of quiet horror.

"I don't know, man. But you seem like you shouldn't be alone" Alfred said quietly, offering him a cigarette. Ludwig just looked at it, so the American popped it between his lips and lite up. They sat in silence until he had finished it. Then Alfred began to speak.

"Look Ludwig, I hope you don't mind me calling you that. You don't want to talk, I get that. I'd be…man, I don't know how I'd feel if I were you. But I've seen some wicked awful shit and I know what you've seen is worse. I also know what it's like to have a nation on your shoulders and I know what it's like to have your leaders go against you. I know the things you've been doing, things that weren't in line with the Nazi party, a little Italian bird told me. I respect you. I'm going to tell you what you need to know and then, if you're still not talking to me, I'm going to tell you what I think you want to know".

Ludwig said nothing, never taking his eyes from the tips of his shiny, Third Reich issued boots. He was considering stabbing himself in the foot. He wondered how Alfred would react.

"Alright, I'm going to take that as you being alright with this method" Alfred went on after a while. "First, most of us have already quit this war. The Japanese are still out in the pacific doing something though, we're not sure what. We had a talk and Germany is currently getting divided up four ways between me, Iggy, Francis, and Ivan. We're kinda worried about Ivan, as usual, but the rest of us want to take care of your people. You'll, as you probably know, be kept under watch during the occupation. We're taking you to your house in Berlin". Alfred paused again and waited.

Ludwig gave him a small nod this time.

"Alright, now for what I know about stuff that might personally concern you. Prussia is MIA, we have no idea where he went. Kiku, we think is really in the pacific. And….I'm not sure if you want to know this or not cause you won't talk to me. But after the Italies surrendered to us, we took good care of them. I'm telling you because even if Romano was pretty smug and superior about it, Feli was pretty broken hearted. He was all torn up at the meeting about the land division, pissed his brother off a lot. Anyway, he asked me to tell you something. I really shouldn't be helping a former enemy communicate with a former enemy, but the little guy was earnest about this being about friendship on a personal level. Anyway, here it is". Alfred paused to take a note out of his pocket before he went on. Ludwig could see the familiar messy handwriting and it brought tears to his eyes before the American Nation had even begun to speak.

"Feliciano wanted me to tell you, and I quote the paper, "I worry about you. I hope that things will begin to get better for you now. Lovino always tells me, when I'm sad about messing something up and you know that's a lot, that you can only do better tomorrow. There will be better tomorrows, Ludwig, and on one of them we will be together as friends. My love always, Feliciano". America folded the paper neatly and held it out to the other man. Ludwig took it in a shaking hand, placing it neatly in his jacket pocket.

"I wouldn't have read it aloud, man. But he was afraid you might not read it or something" America added.

Ludwig took no trouble to disguise his silent tears. The American held his head in his hands, shedding a few of his own. They didn't speak the rest of the trip.

Many years later, Ludwig was still under observation in lavish house that had been bought for him in West Berlin. It was his very own golden cage. He hated how big and fancy it was. He felt Roerich would like it. If he climbed up on the house's third story and looked to the East, the German Nation could see the wall. He'd done that a lot when it gone up, now only sometimes. It still burned every time. When he was up there, he wondered a lot about who was on what side. Who was apart from their father or brother indefinitely? He imagined that they must feel a pain akin to what he felt when he thought of Feliciano or Gilbert and then he felt that he deserved that pain. It was a small price to pay to the people he'd been unable to protect. At least Gilbert could be out among them, due to the Axis thinking him dead and gone. Ludwig never went anywhere without one of the Allied Nations practically holding his hand. Francis had been know to really try to.

When he grew tired of thinking, he drowned himself in study of all kinds, exhausting exercise, and finally booze. Anything to keep him too tired or too occupied to think. He slept a lot, for the first time in ages, because he had little to no work to do. All of that was handled by Arthur or Alfred, perhaps Francis when he had nothing better to occupy himself with. He had gruesome nightmares of people burning alive, people smothering on gas, Gilbert being captured and beaten by the Allies, Gilbert being shot off the wall, the Soviets crawling over the wall and dragging down the other half of his country, Ivan killing him in the most gruesome fashions, the bombing of Berlin, endless terrible things. But the sleep was giving up to the depression that weighed him down and he just had to have it.

Alfred had taken on the role of responsibility for Ludwig, since that first day they had spoken in the truck. He arrived on his doorstep at least once a month, usually every couple of weeks. For years, these visits had been all business. But Alfred wanted to be friends; he brought Ludwig gifts from America and tried to trick him into causal talk. It didn't work for many years, but Alfred was always very persistent about getting what he wanted. Slowly, the German man began to return his gifts and comment on his attempts at conversation. He told himself that it was boredom. But really, he was very lonely. Despite being a highly introverted man, he'd always shared his home with some Nation or another. He'd never had such a large empty space to himself before, nor had he ever been quite so sad. Gilbert and Kiku, the only fiends he could still look too, were very busy with their own fallout. Speaking to anyone else would hurt their reputation too harshly. But America was his keeper, so no one would accuse him of fraternizing with evil. They would praise Alfred for being able to contain it.

Ludwig woke up on a fall morning in the 1970's to Alfred sitting concerned by the side of his bed. He had a particularly vicious hangover that felt as if it were drilling into his skull ,just above his right eye. His fists were throbbing. He found they were covered in red scabs. He couldn't remember what had happened.

"How bad is what I've I done?" The German Nation croaked from his dry throat.

"Good Morning to you too" Alfred greeted, but his eyes did not meet his cheerful tone. He handed the German a large, frosty mug of cold water. Ludwig downed it instantly, feeling a lot better.

"Food?" Alfred asked, sitting on the edge of the bed. Ludwig's stomach grumbled in answer. But he reached out to stop the American from rising, gripping his arm. The clinching of his fingers broke a scab, it burned. Alfred saw the blood immediately and began to blot at it with a napkin he pulled from his pocket. It had salt on it, which hurt. But Ludwig didn't stop him. He liked watching him tend to his hands. He tried not to think about that any more than he had too.

"What have I done?" he asked again, his voice clear now.

"You beat the holy shit out of your entrance hall, including the mirror I found you sleeping in the remnants of. I didn't have anyone clean it yet, I thought you might not believe me. It was freaking terrifying, Ludwig" The American explained, looking down at the German's hand where he was holding steady pressure on his wound. "You were out for twenty four whole hours after I got here. I called Francis, I was so freaked about what to do. He said as long as your vitals were good, I should just let you sleep. Do you feel alright"?

"My body feels fine" he answered.

"and?" the American Nation asked, knowingly.

"I was seeing things in the hall. You don't want to hear about them, Alfred" Ludwig replied, flopping back down on his pillow and running his hands back into his hair. Alfred quickly grabbed to stop him, placing himself above the German on the bed. His right hand was tightly gripped on the other's right, his face inches from Ludwig's own. Ludwig could feel his breath on his face, it gave him chills.

_When was the last time I was this close to another person? _Ludwig wondered. He briefly thought of Feliciano asleep on his arm, sometime years ago. It caused him violent pain. He wanted to drown this feeling.

"Don't rub blood in your hair" Alfred said, shifting his sky blue eyes down to Ludwig's face. Alfred blushed with embarrassment under the German's intense gaze, yet he didn't pull away.

Ludwig took his free hand and ran it along the fur collar of the American's coat, down his chest, gripping his tie-dye T-shirt tightly, and pulling his face down to almost touch his own. Alfred's blush deepened and he glanced away for just a moment before bringing his eyes back to the German's face. Alfred kissed him then, bringing their lips together ever so lightly. That was all it took to push Ludwig the rest of the way over the edge. He shoved Alfred roughly over onto his back, quickly pinning him between his legs. He briefly enjoyed the American's shocked face before capturing his mouth in a demanding kiss. Holding Alfred's hands tightly above his head with his right, Ludwig used his left hand to explore the other man's lightly muscled chest. Alfred moaned into his mouth, arching his hips into Ludwig's crotch, running his nails into the German's back. It was quick and rough, Ludwig taking the American from behind and never letting go of his tight grip in the man's hair.

They were together more gently later on that evening, yet still with little emotion. As they lay in bed after, Ludwig explained to Alfred that he had seen himself in the Nazi uniform in the mirror, his eyes red as blood. In turn, Alfred confided that he wasn't sure that things were working in his new romance with Arthur. After all, he wasn't with him at the moment.

"No, I don't suppose that would help anything" the German Nation observed in monotone.

Alfred had laughed madly at that. Ludwig followed suit. He fell asleep in a good mood. He dreamed of one of the many times Feliciano had made flower crowns and when he woke the next morning, Alfred had left on urgent business.

Ludwig wrote the American a careful letter about how he had needed and enjoyed his sexual company, but there was no need for it to continue. He made sure to encourage him to patch things up with Arthur; all the Nations could tell how deeply that romance ran. He sent it that day. He wrote a note to Feliciano as well, then he burned it. He sat by the grate until every scrap of it was nothing but ash. He hadn't spoken to the other man for decades, still he thought of him everyday.

Alfred still handled Ludwig's captivity, easily brushing off their fling as if it was something he did often. Ludwig rather admired the boldness of the younger Nation.

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So, this chapter's pretty angsty. **Please drop a line** and let me know if was too much or too little, or really say anything you want. **I just love to hear from you**. I'm sure some attention will help me get through posting this faster. What can I say, I'm a sucker for reviews. lol.

**I know that I didn't go into great detail about this sex scene**, It's done on purpose. I wanted you to taste it enough to know that it's pure lust with little love involved. In this story, I want to save the detailed sex for characters who are really in love. As of now, you have one more vague and two more really detailed sex scenes to look forward too. That's without any epilogue work. I shamelessly enjoy writing sex and reading it.

**In the next chapter, **Ludwig is back in modern Berlin with Feli and they play Truth or Dare with a certain devious trio. **The chapter after,** in case you're wondering, is **Feli's first POV chapter.**


	4. Drinking

**Thanks to rumblepaw for the follow and Lady Ri of Cherith for the fave!** Gilbert thinks you're both awesome, though not quite as awesome as him or his perfect baby brother! xD

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"Crawling back to you  
So have you got the guts?  
Been wondering if your heart's still open and if so I wanna know what time it shuts  
Simmer down and pucker up  
I'm sorry to interrupt. It's just I'm constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss you  
I don't know if you feel the same as I do  
But we could be together if you wanted to"

**Modern Berlin**

Three days after Feliciano's fall, and a full month after Ludwig would have preferred him too, Gilbert arrived in the capitol for election season. The Prussian Nation had used his key to let himself in and Ludwig had woken up to hysterical laughter at 5am, followed by the disturbing sight of Antonio doing a shot out his brother's belly button as the result of game of Truth or Dare. Francis had been the source of the laughter. Gilbert was wearing a torn, Five Finger Death Punch T-shirt, jeans that were more rip than jean, calf high combat boots, a BMW baseball cap, and a fresh hickey just below his chin. Francis was wearing short shorts, an open tropical shirt and a sombrero. Antonio was dressed primly in a white button down with rolled up sleeves, spotless denim pants, and red Converse sneakers. All of them were obviously hammered, the desire to be so one of the few things they really had in common. Ludwig found all this far too annoying for this time of day, a fact that was not helped when Feliciano soon appeared from the kitchen wearing only a pair of loose ball shorts and drinking from a 24 ounce can of Mike's Hard Lemonade.

"Come play with us, Baby Bruder" the Prussian practically squealed, when he was the first person to notice Ludwig in the corner of the room. He'd been there for at least four minutes, standing in full light.

"I think not" Ludwig replied a little more snappily than he intended. His brother's face fell a bit.

"But Ludwig, you look so dashing!" Francis added, taking a long glance at Ludwig's chest. The German nation suddenly remembered he was only wearing his red, flannel pajama bottoms.

"You look hammered" he snapped back, wrapping his arms around himself and composing his face into an icy glare.

"Because I am, my winter rose" Francis replied, toasting him with his wine glass before chugging it.

Antonio sniggered a little, trying to hide it with his hand. He was obviously the most sober of them and that wasn't saying much.

"It's my turn to dare, Doitsu. Come play with us" Feliciano begged, skipping across the room and taking Ludwig by the hand. Ludwig quickly pulled away and the little Nation frowned so intensely Ludwig thought he might cry. The expression was too much for him on it's own, and the red scab didn't help him any.

"Alright, I'll play" he agreed, quickly.

He immediately regretted it when he heard Francis break out in laughter again and looked over to see Gilbert smiling at him in a manner that could only be described as devilish, red eyes doing little to help the matter.

He let Feliciano take his hand again and lead him over to sit by him, only after he had fetched them both white t-shirts from the laundry room. The little Italian sat as close to him as possible, leaning his head on his shoulder. Ludwig considered shoving him away, but he didn't want him to get upset again and everyone here was really drunk anyway. He took stock of the different types of bottles littering his floor to assure himself of this: two empty red wine bottles, one almost empty bottle cinnamon whiskey, five empty cans of Mike's Hard Lemonade, and more Berliner Pilsner bottles than he even cared to count. He kinda doubted anyone cared enough at this point to remember something like Feliciano lying on his arm. He took a shot of Jaeger from the bottle he'd fetched with the shirts. He could think of no other way he could possibly survive this party.

"It's still your turn, Feli" Antonio reminded him. He was lying on his back in the floor. Francis sat above him in the armchair and Gilbert was sitting Indian style on the couch. The Italian Nation put his hands to his lips and looked off as if in deep thought.

"Truth or Dare, toni!"

"Dare" Antonio immediately answered.

"Text Roma a picture of you kissing Gil" Feliciano challenged, a snide smirk on his face. The Spanish Nation looked shocked.

"Damn Feli" Gilbert responded. "I didn't know you were such an evil mastermind. No wonder you and my brother get along so well. Francis, you got your phone camera ready". Gilbert winked at Ludwig. The German Nation glared back.

"I do" Francis replied. "But I feel a little guilty about this one…a little".

"And I lose. I will not play anymore" Antonio said, simply.

"Oh come on, Toni. You kissed me before, remember New Year's 2000?" Gilbert teased.

"You took me by surprise!"

"Feli will tell Roma the truth later, right Feli?" Gilbert asked.

"Si, as soon as he's good and mad" Feliciano promised, crossing his heart.

"Simmer down and pucker up, Antonio*****" Gilbert teased.

Antonio looked skeptical, but he quickly tackled the albino man to the couch and gave him a very quick peck on the lips, only lasting until the camera click. He then jumped away.

Feliciano and Francis were laughing manically. Ludwig just felt awkward about watching his older brother kiss men. He took a long drink. He caught Gilbert looking at him darkly. He knew the hypocritical how much have you been drinking talk was coming in the morning, that is if Gilbert could remember.

Francis sent Antonio the photo, at which the Spanish Nation grimaced, before forwarding it to his lover. He held up the screen, so that everyone could see that it had gone. Ludwig was both attracted to and frightened by the cold smirk on Feliciano's face. He wondered if Romano would call now, wasn't it even later in Italy?

"Is there some reason you wanted to make Romano angry?" Ludwig inquired. He knew that the siblings were protective of one another, but that had no effect on their frequent and emotional feuds.

"Si, Doitsu. But I don't want to talk about it. Toni, it's your turn now" Feliciano replied, quickly changing the subject. He was blushing. Ludwig was concerned, Feliciano always wanted to talk about it.

"I think I would take my vengeance" Francis encouraged, winking at Antonio.

"You do have a point" Antonio mused, giving Feli a mischievous grin and then glancing at Ludwig. "Truth or dare, Feli".

"Dare" the little Nation came back instantly.

_Mein Gott _Ludwig thought, slow horror creeping up on him. He took another shot from the bottle. Gilbert glared. The German nation was tempted to stick his tongue out at him like a child and take another. Only Gilbert provoked such foolishness in him.

"That's it"! Antonio shot up from where he had returned to the floor to point at Ludwig's liquor bottle. "Feliciano take as big a shot of that acid as you can, then feed it to Ludwig with your mouth". Feliciano's resulting blush shot all the way down to his neck. Ludwig took yet another shot. The idea of Feliciano feeding him liquor in such a manner made him a lot hotter than he needed to be. He wasn't sure who was laughing harder, Francis or Gilbert. The resulting mix of their unique voices was scratching at his brain. _Please say no _he thought. _I can't back down in front of other Nations. Why did I agree to this!?_

_ "_Done" Feliciano said, holding his hand out for the bottle.

He didn't make eye contact with Ludwig, so the German Nation fixed his gaze on the side of his face. He could not look at the others. He could not show weakness of any kind in front of them. Silently, he gave over the bottle. The little Italian's eyes fluttered shut and he drank deep. He then sat it neatly on the table, more neatly than Feliciano ever did anything. He got on his knees in front of Ludwig and still on the couch, so he was head higher than the other Nation, and cupped his cheek in his hand. Ludwig found it hard to make that look out in his eyes as anything but lust, besides he didn't have long to think about it. Feliciano rushed in quickly, pressing at his lips for admittance. Ludwig opened to him and the burn that rushed down his throat was twice as hot as the shot before it. It seemed like Feliciano's tongue lingered longer than it ought to have. Ludwig felt a dribble of Jaeger slipping down his chin.

"DAMN!" Gilbert observed.

Ludwig glanced around without moving. His brother wore a brilliant smile, Antonio's eyes were huge, and Francis had both of his hands cupped to his face.

"I didn't think he'd do it" Antonio whispered.

"Of course I did it, Toni" Feliciano said in a broken voice that Ludwig thought was supposed to be his usually cheerful tone. "I'm not going to let you beat me. Excuse me, I need to use the restroom". The Italian Nation quickly exited the room.

"Hey, West!" Gilbert quickly piped up. "Where's that thing you said you had for me. I forgot all about it. Remember, the gift you had for me in your office. Let's go get it!" The Prussian Nation got up and pulled his large brother effortlessly to his feet and led him out of the room. Only when they were both safely locked in Ludwig's den, did Gilbert speak.

"West! That was…"

"Christ, Gilbert!" The large blonde snapped, throwing himself back onto the sofa, running his hands back into his hair. "I told you to stop fucking calling me West"! Ludwig's face was contorted in rage.

"I'm sorry, man. I forgot…but more importantly, I just witnessed one of the hottest things I have ever seen in my awesome freakin life!" Gilbert exclaimed.

"Shut the hell up, Gilbert"!

"No, Wes…Ludwig, you shut up. I've had enough of your shit. You listen to me for a minute" Gilbert screamed, leaning over his brother, shoving the palm of his hand against his shoulder as if to hold him down. Ludwig could have easily knocked him away, but he would never hit the Prussian; it didn't matter how angry he might be. He clenched his teeth and looked away from his brother's face.

"I know we're both pretty old and we've had some awful times and you're honestly the more mature man in this room" Gilbert began, lowering his voice to a stern tone. "But you're fucking up. I'm the person who loves you mos…well one of the people who love you most and I can't watch this anymore. The world hurt us pretty bad, my brother. I don't think it could have hurt us much worse. We couldn't stop some bad shit. We're damaged, angry people, and we will always be. But don't hurt yourself, Ludwig. …and don't hurt Feli anymore. Ich liebe dich. I can't stand watching it".

As Gilbert had talked sadness and anger had melded into some uncontrollable emotion in Ludwig. He looked into his brother's eyes and let him see the tears welling in his own. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know he had been so transparent. He hadn't even thought about how he might be being cruel to Italy. He hadn't regarded all the walls he'd built around himself since the world wars as self-harm, but now he believed it.

"Ludwig, you should go say something kind to Feli" Gilbert explained, when his brother didn't speak. "You should really go screw him into oblivion. But I know that's too much for you right now. At least go tell him you worship him, okay. Italian's need to hear love, not just see it. Antonio writes Lovi freaking love letters. I'm not saying you should do that, but you should definitely buy him some shit and tell him he's hot". Gilbert let go of his shoulder and sat down in front of him on the floor.

"You seem so sure that's the way he feels" Ludwig said, tears rolling slowly down his cheeks.

"Jesus Ludwig, so are you. You just didn't want to see it all this time. Go back out there looking for it, really looking and you'll see it in a heartbeat. Everyone sees it and everyone thinks you need it, even Romano. But Lovi's never going to admit it, so don't freaking ask him. He only told Toni case he was really drunk and then he got real mad. But man, and please DO. NOT. HIT ME, we staged this. We planned the whole thing. Proud Germany would never back down from a dare, another thing everyone knows".

"You staged it" Ludwig repeated, horrified.

"I started it and they finished it" Gilbert affirmed.

Ludwig placed his head in his hands and just sat that way for a while. He could hear his brother breathing, patiently waiting for him to gather his thoughts. He wanted to be mad, but couldn't be. Despite the awkwardness and the sadness, he felt a sort of freedom he hadn't felt in many years. He couldn't just avoid doing something about his feelings anymore, something had to be done and now.

"I do love him, Gilbert. I have for decades" Ludwig finally confessed, head still in his hands. "But what of our image as a nation? Can I be openly gay"?

"I figured that was part of this too" Gilbert observed. "You'll have to fight to gain back respect of some people, some will never see. There will be backlash. More importantly, you will be a beacon of light for people who are afraid to live truthfully. Did you ever think of that, little brother? How human men with so much less time, than you and I, to work out feelings might see a powerful official and take that last plunge to honesty. I mean you're acting International Ambassador to our country right now, imagine what a wonderful uproar it will cause if you cart Feli around on your arm all around the world. You'd be doing a wonderful thing for others, a thing that makes you really happy too".

"I'll go say something nice to Feliciano" Ludwig agreed after a long moment of quiet thought "and perhaps he can give me the courage to carry him on my arm. Thank you, Gilbert".

The brothers shared a rare hug, before Ludwig exited the room. He went to the bathroom, before he began to search for Feliciano. He put all of his wayward hairs back into place, washed his face, brushed his teeth, applied cologne and deodorant. He plucked a few stray hairs from his eyebrows before he had to admit to himself that there was no reason left to put off talking to _his_ little Italian longer. He walked quietly down the hall that allowed him to avoid going back in the living room. Through the wall, he could hear Antonio's one-sided conversation with Lovino and Francis's manic laughter. He pitted the Spaniard, but he figured that Lovino was used to Antonio's friends puling stunts like this by now. He seemed to recall that the previously discussed New Year's kiss had been posted online as a video.

Outside Feliciano's door, he thought through a plausible plan of action. It was a small step in the right direction. He knocked quietly, no one answered. When he called out his name, there was still no answer. So, he gently pressed on the door. Inside he could smell the soap from the bathroom and hear the draining water, along with Feliciano's humming. Light shone from the beneath the door. Ludwig thought momentarily of forcing it open and walking in on the Italian, but that was all too forceful for the gentle feelings he was nursing now. He just knocked on the door.

"Feli" he called.

"Doitsu!" Feliciano called happily. He opened the door. He was dressed in comfortable, bedtime clothing, that made him look delightfully soft. His hair was still damp.

"Let's talk, Feli" Ludwig invited, gently taking the Italian's hand and leading him over to sit on the bed.

"What is it, Ludwig? Did you not like the way I touched you? I should have known better. I'm sorry" Feliciano said, rather unemotionally. But his eyes gave him away.

Ludwig smiled. Feliciano looked shocked. Those words had not been figured into his plan. But he knew what to say to them at once.

"I very much like the way you touch me, Feli. I find your excessive affection charming. I just never quite understood how to return it. Our cultures and temperaments are very different. You may touch me whenever you like" Ludwig explained, looking down at the hand.

"Really, Doitsu?" Feliciano asked. It was his normal happy voice. It filled Ludwig with warmth. He rubbed his thumb across the top of Feliciano's hand, silently beating himself for not making that obvious to Feliciano sooner.

"Few things make me happier" Ludwig added. "I'm somewhat afraid of those kinds of feelings. It's been shown to me that being this way is foolish. I would like you to help me work on this". He still didn't look up.

"How can I help?" Feliciano asked, breathlessly.

"You can accept my offer to go out to dinner with me tomorrow night, allowing me to express my affection for you in a public light. I will take you anywhere you want to go and pay for you dinner….as your date" Ludwig finished. His heart was beating so swiftly, he thought it might burst through his chest.

Feliciano let out a small gasp. He took his free hand and ran it up Ludwig's arm to his cheek and under his chin. He tilted it up gently. Ludwig saw that Feliciano was smiling with fresh tears in his eyes.

"That's wonderful, Ludwig. I had been waiting, you know, for you to ask. Of course, I will go with you" Feliciano said very seriously, leaning his forehead in to rest on Ludwig's own. "maybe we can..."

"I'm sorry to interrupt...*******" **Ludwig cut in.

He brought his shaking hands up to cup the sides of Feliciano's face, gently pulling him into a soft kiss. The little Italian moaned delightfully, returning it and gripping his hands into the front of Ludwig's shirt. Ludwig pulled Feliciano down, so that the little Italian was lying under him. He ran his hands through the other Nation's auburn curls. He stopped a moment to kiss the scab on the little Italian's forehead, like he had wanted to earlier. Felicano giggled and pulled him eagerly back to his lips. Their kiss deepened. It was just beginning to grow particularly hot, when a frantic knocking came at the door.

"Feli! You have got to come tell Lovino the truth. You know he doesn't trust anyone but you! Please, come on! I think he might come here to kill me"! Antonio moaned from beyond the door.

Feliciano pulled away laughing. Ludwig frowned.

"Don't worry, Ludwig. We'll finish this properly after our date tomorrow" Feliciano whispered hotly in his ear, before bouncing off to Antonio.

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***a moment of silence for all the commas that I put in the wrong place in this chapter* **

Again, the **bold stars **after lines indicate use of song lyrics.

**I love you guys for reading this and I will take any kind of feedback you want to give me with silly levels of enthusiasm. **

**In the next chapter, **We're still in modern Berlin. But we switch things up to **Feli POV**.


	5. Growing

I would like to thank MadCrazyMee & 2luvornot2luv for both fave-ing and following this story! I would love to hear from both of you about what you liked. I would also like to thank my mysterious guest reviewer for taking the time to let me know that he or she enjoyed the story! Francis would happily kiss all three of you, maybe even at the same time ;)

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"(Do I wanna know?)  
If this feeling flows both ways?  
(Sad to see you go).  
Was sort of hoping that you'd stay  
(Baby we both know)  
That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day"

**Modern Berlin**

Feliciano started crying as soon as he'd shut the hall door on the horrid game of Truth or Dare. He stumbled drunkenly into the guest bathroom and retched up his lasagna. Then the little Italian lay back against the cold stone floor and his crying turned to sobbing. He could hear Ludwig and Gilbert screaming, but he didn't care to focus on the words. It didn't last long. After a while, a quiet knock came at the door.

"Taken" Feliciano called feebly.

"But precious Italy, I can hear your tears through the door" Francis called. "Can't you use some of big brother's fantastic love advice? Hon Hon".

"Do you know how to force someone love you?" Feliciano mumbled.

"Non, my lovely one! But that is not the advice you need, anyway" Francis replied.

Italy opened the door and made a weak attempt at a smile. Francis had been leaning against it. The French Nation almost fell in, but he caught himself on Feliciano's shoulder. He'd made himself slightly more decent, buttoning up his silly shirt and having ditched the sombrero somewhere.

"If you can't teach me to make someone love me, then you can't really help me" Italy whispered. Saying it hurt his feelings somewhat and he felt fresh tears in his eyes.

"But I can," Francis insisted as he lead him out of the bathroom with a gentle hand on the arm. They invited themselves into Gilbert's nearby sitting, really video gaming, room and took seats in his bean bag chairs.

"Francis, I've been showing him my feelings openly for years!" Feliciano snapped in a tone similar to an angry toddler.

"Non, Feli. Listen to big brother for a moment" Francis instructed, placing his index finger over the little Italian's lip. Feliciano gazed back at him doubtfully, but did not try to speak. Francis pulled his finger back away.

"Big brother does not need to show you how to make someone love you, that is a thing that cannot be done. Love is a magical thing that one is able to feel for another only after they have formed a special sort of bond with them over time. Feli, you and Roma know a lot about growing tomatoes. Creating love with another is very much like growing a nice, juicy tomato. To grow one, you have to select the right seed, the right soil, and make sure it gets what it needs on a day to day basis. The wrong soil will dry out a good seed, when it might have been perfectly good for another kind. Even when you have the right seed and the soil that complements it, bad things can still happen. You can forget to stake the plant, or a drought may come. But with careful care, you can keep the tomato alive even then. But you already know all that about tomatoes, don't you, my lovely Italian?"

"Yes, big brother…but I don't…" Feliciano began. Francis shushed him.

"Okay. Let's talk about Lovino and Antonio. Say Lovino was a seed and Antonio was some soil" Francis began. Feliciano laughed quietly. "I know it sounds silly, Feli. But pay very close attention. Lovino is a passionate, easily angry man. He feels very strongly and has trouble controlling these feelings. He hides this weakness with spite. Antonio complements that temperament like a good soil would a seed. He is also very passionate, though he handles it better. He combats his own fears by looking on the bright side, a method I think you are familiar with. He can relate to Lovino's fear of being perceived as weak because of his easy passion. Better yet, he can come back to Lovino's anger with joy. He can make him kinder. You and I both know it is a task to make Lovino kind and that Antonio is the best at it. That is a kind of love, a special one grown from paying the most attention to Lovino and caring more than anyone if he can be joyful. He tends to that daily, making sure Lovino has what he needs, as if your brother were the best of his tomatoes. And even when something unfortunate takes place, like Antonio being unable to be with Lovino during the World Wars, they still overcome it because they have that special kind of love. Now Feli, do you understand that you cannot force love, only attempt to grow it with careful care? Do you understand that love is like tomatoes"?

"Yes Francis, I understand" Feliciano answered. He had one hand cupped over his jaw and was looking off into deep thought.

"Tell me how Ludwig is the only proper soil for you" Francis instructed. Feliciano blushed and looked at Francis with wide eyes.

"Can't you do it, big brother?" he asked. "You did such a good job with Roma and Toni"!

"Non, Feli. You need to do it" Francis instructed, rubbing him playfully on the head.

"Um, well…"Feliciano began, clasping his hands together and looking down at them. "I'm not strong. I would rather do beautiful things…as a country and being, this is my disadvantage. Left alone, I don't know what to do to protect myself or my people. Ludwig protects me, he provides the strength that I do not possess. …and I feel that I am even learning to be strong overtime, by his example".

"Excellent answer, Feli" Francis complemented. "But that was only half. What do you offer our German companion in return"?

"I…well…I suppose that I bring warmth, art" Feliciano suggested. He was fidgeting nervously, feeling yet more tears in his eyes. He just didn't know how to complement himself, like Francis was trying to make him.

"Feli, you certainly bring both those things to everyone you know" Francis encouraged. "But in the simplest of terms I would call you a bringer of comfort. You're made of silver linings, good food, and simple manners. Ludwig often forgets to have fun, but no one could with you around. That's what you offer him, the willingness to put time and effort into pulling him out of that hard shell of his. You do an excellent job. I certainly could not do it, despite how beautiful I might think he is. You two will make a fine tomato together. Hon Hon Hon".

"But Francis, does he see that?!" Feliciano asked frantically, tears then running down his cheeks. He was blushing. The little Italian felt so foolish.

"Yes, Feli, he knows. But Ludwig fears it. Gilbert is working on talking him out of that as we speak" Francis replied with a wink.

"Ludwig is afraid?" Feliciano asked in a shocked tone. Francis laughed.

"Not of you, my sweet Italy. Of disappointing his country by not living up the standards of the strong, perfect, man he ought to be. He feels he has already done enough embarrassing, you understand. But Gilbert will explain to him that Ludwig will, in openly loving you, be taking a proud step forward for this nation".

"Ludwig doesn't listen to Gilbert much" Feliciano said, somewhat skeptically.

"He will this time" Francis assured the little Italian, patting him on the shoulder.

"Thank you" Feliciano mumbled, still crying.

"Do not thank me, Feliciano. I just want to see you happy" Francis replied, kissing him sweetly of the forehead.

"What should I do now?"

"Wait" Francis explained "Ludwig needs to feel large and strong, Feli. It's best to let him come confess his feelings to you".

"You really think he'll come?" Feliciano asked. He was scared and hopeful all at once.

"He'll come" Francis assured him. "Gilbert has talked me into many less wonderful things…A hot pepper eating contest, for example".

Feliciano giggled.

"You should go back to your room and clean up, you don't want your lover to find you smelling like vomit and covered in tears do you" Francis asked.

"No!" Feliciano quickly replied. He kissed Francis on the cheek, before he was off.

"You're so cute, Feli" The French Nation called after him, punctuated by his trademark laugh.

Once in his bedroom, Feliciano threw open his large wardrobe and began to flip anxiously through the racks. He was looking for an at home outfit that was nice, but not like he was trying too hard. He first choose a tight pink t-shirt, holding it in front of himself in the full length mirror attached to the wardrobe door. He then immediately rejected it, tossing it messily back inside. Next he held up a soft, knit sweater in light blue. He tossed that away as well. About three shirts later, he finally decided on an over-sized green cardigan with small black buttons and a low V-neck. The dark color brought out the warm caramel of his eyes and the neck would show his iron cross, not to mention his collar bone. He decided to pair it with soft black linen pants and matching green socks. He folded all of this neatly and carried it with him into his personal bathroom, which was accessed by a private door with his bedroom.

Feliciano's bathroom was the nicest one in the apartment, since the house's other two occupants treated bathing like a simple necessity. Feliciano on the other hand, could spend hours in the bath. The edges of his large Jacuzzi tub were lined in bottles of all kinds with labels in many languages. Half of his white marble counter was covered in perfumes, hair products, and even a bit of make-up. He had huge, salon lighted mirrors, multiple hair brushes, two flat irons, a curling iron, and a seated hair dryer, among many other things. The floor was done in shiny, pearl-like stone slabs that were scattered with fluffy, white rugs because Ludwig and Gilbert had both been sure it was only a matter of time until the little Italian slipped on the floor.

Feliciano ran himself a large bubble bath, full of chamomile for skin softening. Then he set some hand crafted, lavender candles that he had bought on his last trip home to burning. As he sank down in the wonderfully warm water up to his chin and inhaled the delicious colliding scents, he began to feel his joyful disposition return to him. He let his eyes slip closed and thought slowly over Francis's words. There had been times when Francis and Feliciano had been at odds with each other, but they had always returned to their brotherly peace in the end. He was sure that Francis had given him the best advice that he could and he knew that though the French Nation was a bit of a whore, he was a loving one. Surely, he knew what he was talking about. Feliciano would smell nice, dress well, and wait.

His excitement was soon getting the best of him. He hummed to himself as he scrubbed his hair with almond butter soap, allowing his hands to toy a little with his curl, relishing the chills flowing down his spine. Finally, when he was sure he was utterly spotless, he quickly towel dried and dressed in his clean clothes. He was considering rather or not a bit of concealer might do his puffy eyes some good, when the knock came at the door.

"Feli" called a familiar, deep voice infused with a timid tone.

"Doitsu!" he called happily. Then he took a deep breath, before smiling confidently at himself in the mirror and going to open the door.

* * *

**So, How was my Feli?** I never quite feel as in his head as I do with Ludwig. I worry that I'm changing him too much from the cannon. But I like to think this Feli is pretty on par with the cannon version, this is just a less silly story and so he acts less silly. I've always felt that Feli was capable of not being silly, when he needs too.

**The next chapter **is Feli POV as well. Iggy is in it and Romano! Both characters I'm also completely in love with. It takes place after WW2 in Italy.

Also, **what did you guys think of love being like a tomato?** I didn't really relate the two myself, until I wrote that out. I mean, what better way to explain something to Feli that with tomatoes...or maybe pasta. I suppose the same metaphor could have been applied to pasta sauce. But I am growing tomatoes myself, so it's what I thought about.

**Thanks for reading! **Please, don't be shy about sharing your thoughts with me, any at all.


	6. Waiting

Ocha Hagar, thanks so much for the fave and the follow! Drop me a line, when you have the time, and let me know what you think about the story. I would also like to thank Mysterious Guest Reviewer #2 for their kind words...or maybe your #1 again? It means a lot to me to hear from you! Iggy baked you both scones with love, but they caught on fire. Al had to throw water on them.

This is the longest chapter yet! Which is only fair, Feli has hardly had any POV time.

**Be warned**, non-GerIta sex ahead. …I just taught my computer spell check to recognize GerIta as a word xD

* * *

"Crawling back to you (crawling back to you)  
Ever thought of calling when you've had a few? (you've had a few)  
'Cause I always do ('cause I always do)  
Maybe I'm too (maybe I'm too busy) busy being yours to fall for somebody new  
Now I've thought it through"

**Post-WW2, Italy**

Feliciano handed the note to Alfred as soon as he had stepped out of the conference room and into the hall, just as they had discussed. He then offered a faint smile. He paid no mind to the strange look Iggy had given him, standing beside the American Nation with a hand on his arm. He knew that Romano had seen as well. But he had to get away as quickly as possible. He could feel the tears brewing in his eyes and he knew breaking down and crying would piss off his brother even more than he had already managed to in the meeting.

"Thanks, Italy" The American nation called after him, as if it was Feliciano who was doing the favor.

"What the hell's that!?" he heard Romano bark.

"Roma" Antonio murmured.

"Just the address of good pizza place" America answered smoothly.

Feliciano didn't hear anything after that. He was already too far down the hall of the lavish English castle in which the countries had discussed with each other how the remaining members of the Axis were to be treated. He locked himself in a broom closet and finally let the tears flow touching the iron cross hidden beneath his neck scarf. He wondered where Kiku even was. He wondered how Ludwig would fair under all this pressure. _It must be awful _the little Italian thought sickly. _I hope that Alfred will be able to give him my note. _

Months later, Feliciano was back at home, by the sea, in his and Romano's villa. He was alone. The brother's had fought pretty hard after the conference and had mutually decided to spend a while apart. They worked on repairing war damage in their own halves of the country. For a week after that, they had been together. But they were still too angry. There had been screaming the night before Lovino had left to spend some time with Spain. However, his brother had given him a long hug the following morning and many warm kisses.

"You will always be loved by me, Feliciano" Lovino assured him. "You will come to Spain soon as well. We'll heal together".

Feliciano had floored by the show of affection. Romano was never so sweet with him and it just cut him right to the heart. It seemed the organ was nothing but a great bleeding wound as of late.

He agreed to come to Spain, but he'd didn't right away. He slept, ate all the good Italian foods, walked on the seashore, drank wine, attended to his people, and generally waited to hear from Alfred or Kiku. He knew Ludwig wouldn't write. He'd already received a short postcard from the American nation about the note. It had arrived quickly, only two weeks after the meeting. The front wore the image of Uncle Sam having a cheese burger. The back carried the simple line: "Your gift was well revived, Feliciano. It made a lot of difference. My condolences and admiration, Alfred F. Jones". He'd drawn a smiley face next to his name. The card had been sent from England, according to the post-marking. He'd sent Alfred a very good bottle of wine. He heard from the American Nation again two weeks later. It was a letter this time, again post marked from England. He noticed that it had been very well sealed and had anyone tampered with it, it would have been obvious.

_My Italian friend,_

_I shared your wine with Iggy. I always drop by his place when I get done with my duties in Berlin. He loved it even more than I did. You guys sure can make some awesome wine. It was fine trade to those books you wanted. I'm glad you're taking an interest in my people's culture._

_Things are comfortable in Berlin, thank you for asking. I see no great trouble there now. However, these scars are carved deeply into Europe. Some parts of it more than others. It is humbling to me to assist those who need me here. I do all that I can._

_I fear that things will not remain so simple for long. But I do not let fear overpower me._

_I am looking forward to your next letter._

_Love, Al._

Feliciano read the letter many times; assuring himself that he saw what he thought he did. _This defiantly means that Alfred is directly in-charge of Ludwig_,the little Italian decided, _and that he's going to keep me updated. _

Feliciano was immensely grateful. He wrote Alfred a seamlessly pointless letter about his enjoyment of the American novel "Huckleberry Finn", which he had never even read. He talked about the rebuilding of Italy in truth. He sent more wine to Alfred and then sent Arthur his own bottle. He wished he could tell Kiku what he knew, but Kiku was still missing. Feliciano wished he knew how to find someone in the Pacific, but that was Alfred's territory. The Italian invited him to come speak to him in person about it, as it was a very sensitive topic for letters.

Feliciano was not kept waiting long. But it was not Alfred that arrived, it was Arthur. Feliciano found him sitting on his back patio, after noon on a Sunday. He wore a straw sunhat, a white button down that was open halfway down his chest, brown pants and brown leather riding boots. He had been sitting so he could look out at the sea. A large brown leather suitcase was by his feet. The Englishman smiled lazily at Feliciano.

"Hello, Feliciano" The blonde called. "I knocked, but no one answered. I suppose I should have figured that you aren't an early riser".

Feliciano was honestly frightened by the sight of him. He was used to thinking of the English Nation as an enemy, even though he had officially joined the Allies. He briefly tried to run through the parts of the Arthur's body that Ludwig had taught him were weak, hadn't he said to go for the legs?

"I didn't expect you, I'm sorry" Feliciano apologized, folding his arms across his chest in an effort to deter shaking.

"That's my fault" Arthur replied "I should have sent word. I was just in a hurry to leave, I suppose".

"Why?" Feliciano asked. He had yet to step out of his doorway.

"Because Alfred asked me too, of course…Oh, you haven't gotten that letter yet" Arthur guessed. "Between Berlin, the states, and Russia, Alfred couldn't find the time to visit you himself. I volunteered to help you. I know I was somewhat unkind to you during the war and after. It was a war after all. I rather like you and this country, to be honest. Let's be friends now, if we can, or at least gentle acquaintances".

"Oh" Feliciano agreed "Thank you". He looked nervously at his feet, unsure of what was good to say now.

"Feliciano, what can I do to assure you that I am here to help?" The English Nation inquired. "Shall we ring, Al"? Feliciano looked up to a shocking level of sincerity in the other man's eyes, he looked sad even. It made Feliciano feel cruel.

"No…um, can I call you Arthur" the Italian inquired. He had never spoken to the English Nation alone before.

"Of course" The other man agreed.

"Okay, Arthur!" Feliciano agreed, smiling brightly. "Can I take you out to see the cost town? After all, you came all this way to help and you've been waiting".

Arthur agreed. That day was the most fun Feliciano had experienced in a long while. He took Arthur to his favorite local restaurant. It was a family owned and made the some of the best lasagna Feliciano had ever had. He ordered a whole pan of it, along with two fresh salads, garlic bread, and red wine. He only laughed when Arthur asked him if he could really eat all that. Once the food was laid out on the table, Feliciano could immediately tell that the Englishman was fascinated by it. He ate a lot, but always with careful, dainty bites. Feliciano had never imagined Arthur to be graceful, always distracted by him being so angry and powerful. But now, the blonde seemed wonderfully peaceful. He spoke quietly of everything he admired about the restaurant, when his mouth wasn't full. Feliciano happily chattered to him about all the different foods he should try and the places he should see while he was in the country. They both carefully avoided personal and political matters.

When they had eaten until they could no longer, Feliciano took Arthur to private seashore back behind his home. It was an overcast day and the grey of the sky seemed to reach right into the grey of the waves. The world felt calm and still. They walked the whole way, little more or less than a mile. Feliciano was again struck by Arthur's grace. He walked with long strides and perfect posture, never having to watch his feet in even the rockiest areas of cliff road leading down to the ocean. This power of movement reminded him painfully of Ludwig, even more so when Feliciano ultimately tripped and Arthur pulled him to his feet. The other Nation's hands were a little smaller than his own, but had stronger grip. Arthur's nails were perfect.

"What's the matter, Feliciano" the English Nation asked, when he saw the tears Feliciano was desperately trying to hold in. As soon as he asked, one slipped by. The little Italian closed his eyes tightly, inwardly cursing himself for his easy emotions.

"Are you hurt? "Arthur inquired. He flipped over the arm Feliciano had used to catch himself. Feliciano opened his eyes to see him carefully inspecting the skin, forest green eyes so serious. Feliciano gently pulled his hand away, wondering if Arthur found it small or flabby.

"I just had a bad thought is all, Arthur" Feliciano answered and began to walk on down the path.

"Very well" Arthur replied.

When they arrived at the shore, Feliciano shed his loafers and rolled his pants legs up to his knees. He then ran out to wade the water. It was juts cool enough to waken him, without making him chill. The little Italian tried not to think about how Ludwig had rarely been to the ocean and he'd wanted him to come stay with him after the war, but he almost always did when he was at the water. He forgot that for a while, when he opened his eyes and saw Arthur stripping down to his boxers before jumping in. Even the build of the Englishman's body was graceful. He was all long, lean limbs and perfect pale skin, just a shade darker than the white sand. Feliciano felt a little flush. He quickly glanced away. He couldn't look at Arthur like that, they'd barely really become friends, he was still an old enemy, and he certainly belonged to Alfred. Feliciano occupied himself looking for a crab to cook the next day. He thought that his guest would enjoy that. He would make garlic sauce to go with it.

That evening, after they had returned to Feliciano's home and he'd put his crabs on ice, The Italian and the Englishman settled in the living room. The lively atmosphere of the day faded away and Arthur dialed Alfred on the telephone.

"Hello, Al?" Arthur asked calmly, after a few moments of waiting. Feliciano could hear the excited jabbering through the phone. He smiled at how lovely it was, even while feeling somewhat envious. "Talk to Feliciano, will you? He never got your note". Arthur handed him the phone.

"Alfred?" Feliciano asked.

"Hey, buddy!" Alfred greeted. "I'm sorry about the note. I sent it a week ago. I figured you would've had it before Iggy showed up. But he's there because I sent him, as I guess you already know. He'll fill you in on the rest, you can trust him".

"How's Berlin?" Feliciano asked.

"As well as can be expected" Alfred answered, simply. Still, Feliciano could not help but detect the less cheerful tone to his voice.

They hung up soon after that. Nations were always weary of saying things on the phone.

"So, you want people looking for Kiku?" Arthur asked as he placed the phone back on the receiver. "And you would not want to do that without Alfred? Well, my people are already looking as are Alfred's, so I'm just here to give you the details. We expect he's hiding on purpose, all the soldiers we've spoken to swear by it. I don't think he will be found until he wants to be, Feliciano. Alfred agrees, still we look. You, who know him better than either of us, must see that Kiku is ashamed".

"I do" Feliciano said sadly "We all are".

"But we are also proud, nations, and Kiku will not be able to ignore that part of himself forever" Arthur suggested. He patted Feliciano's hand and the little Italian wanted to hold onto those lovely fingers. But he didn't and he couldn't help thinking of someone who wouldn't have minded letting him hold his hand.

Arthur left the next day, promising he would come back. Feliciano went to Antonio's. He wasn't angry with Lovino anymore. If he could be friends with the English Nation, he had no right to hold Lovino's distaste for Ludwig against him. Besides, he had missed brother Spain a great deal during the war years.

Feliciano would get occasional letters from Arthur and Alfred both for years to come. The Cold War and the events that led up to it kept Alfred very distracted, But Arthur found many a small window of time to come in person. They developed a happy friendship based on appreciation of art, food, booze, and looking at the ocean. They would often go out in a boat and lay in the sun together, hardly speaking. In the late fifties, Arthur brought Kiku with him to Feliciano's home.

Feliciano had been in his kitchen, making spaghetti with sun dried tomatoes and basil, when he'd heard the door open. He'd quickly run too it, expecting Lovino to be home. But there was Arthur and Kiku beside him. Arthur was wearing an uncharacteristically bright smile. Kiku looked tired, but he smiled a little as well. The Japanese nation allowed Feliciano to wrap him in a hug, even wrapping his arms around the little Italian somewhat snugly in return.

"I'm glad you're back!" Feliciano gasped in his beloved friend's shoulder. "I knew you would come".

"Yes. I suppose that I was always coming back, Ita-chan" Japan replied, pulling away from the hug.

"Will you and Arthur be having lunch with me?" Feliciano asked. Kiku looked concerned, but he nodded.

"I really must hurry home. I had to stop by and see you though. Still, I will eat with you" Kiku explained.

They all had a large lunch and Feliciano watched happily as both his friends, particularly Kiku, ate large portions of the food he has prepared. He loved seeing that people were well feed, particularly those he loved. It was the easiest way to show someone you cared about them in his mind. Kiku said a little about where he'd been, not really explaining why. Feliciano did not pressure him. It didn't matter what he said, he was talking and he was there in front of the Italian's eyes. One of his friends had finally come back to him. He was full to the brim of happiness.

Still the happiness faded quickly when they left , as it usually did when he was alone. He began to think of Ludwig; would his friend even know that Kiku was safe now? Surely, Alfred would tell him. He wanted to be able to see the German Nation, but he simply knew he did not have the talent to sneak to such a heavily guarded place as Berlin. He would probably get hurt and he would definitely embarrass Lovino. He had reoccurring nightmares of Ludwig alone in a dark place. They were a normal thing, which he could put away in the waking hours. Still, they usually made him cry. Romano came to him when he heard the sobbing. He rubbed his back and mumbled about how everything passes. Feliciano went back to sleep in his brother's arms, thinking that it was very kind of Lovino to be so supportive even when he felt so distastefully about Ludwig.

The years continued to go by. Italy changed and the Vargas brother's looked after it as always. Feliciano painted, he wandered the sea shore, he flirted with pretty girls, and he cooked. Europe slowly returned to being a friendly place, among people and Nations, even with the horror of nuclear weapons looming. Feliciano received Arthur, spent summers in Hungary and Austria, visited Spain, fought with Romano, and even occasionally went to be with Kiku.

Feliciano looked cheerful to everyone who saw him, and usually he really was. But at night the nerves always came and the horrible dreams. Occasionally they came in the day as well, but always when alone in the evening. He couldn't bear them, so he found ways to put them away until the exhaustion of sleep drew him under. By the dawn of the 80's, it wasn't uncommon for Feliciano to go out to clubs every other night of the week. He picked up human girls and had long flings with them, only to suddenly tell them he had to go home to his ill mother or that his army unit was being deployed. He drank a lot, alone, with others, particularly with Francis who shared his love of very good wine. Even with the constant refusal of his feelings, he still got all his work done. So, the Italian officials had no quarrel with him. The other nations didn't bother him about it and he expected it was because Romano threatened them into their place.

It was Arthur that ultimately destroyed Feliciano's carefully kept rhythm, allowing emotions to be truly felt that the little Italian hadn't dared touch in years. He arrived in the summer of 81, as usual he did not announce his visit and came in a less than happy mood. Feliciano and Lovino had been watching "The Godfather" for the 100th time, both sitting in their large recliner, and stuffing their faces with handmade cheddar-mozzarella popcorn. Feliciano had seen the scowl on Arthur's face and held the bowl up in invitation. Arthur took it and sat down in the floor by their feet, shoving a huge handful in his mouth. Lovino glanced at Feliciano in question, eyes looking slightly affronted. The elder brother had never gotten used to Arthur's unannounced visits, though he had eventually gotten to a point where he could just deal with him being there.

"What's the matter, Arthur?" Feliciano inquired "Parliament being a bunch of wankers again"?

"No. Parliament is a cakewalk compared to Alfred!" Arthur fumed, shoving more popcorn in his mouth. Feliciano handed him his bottle of cola. The English Nation took a large drink from it.

"I just remembered that I need to call over to Rome" Lovino said, winking at Feliciano to make it obvious he really didn't. Calling Rome is something they would have always done together. He quickly exited the room.

"But don't you and Alfred rather like to bicker" Feliciano inquired, reaching over Arthur's shoulder after more popcorn and feeling something warm drop on his hand.

"Are you crying" Feliciano asked, shocked. Arthur wordlessly turned so that Feliciano could see the quiet tears on his face.

"Is something wrong with Alfred" Feliciano asked.

"Everything" Arthur answered quietly. He held his hands to his lips as if trying to stop himself from talking more.

"Can you tell me? I want to help" Feliciano assured him, running his hand through his own auburn curls because he couldn't decide what else to do with them. Arthur was always so cool and composed. He wanted to reach out and wipe the English Nation's tears away, yet he was afraid touching him would break something.

"Anything?" Arthur asked, looking the Italian nation directly in the eyes. Feliciano nodded sincerely.

"Let's go to your private rooms and with good wine. I first need you to listen to me bitch" Arthur instructed.

Feliciano laughed and did what he was told. They ended up sprawled in the deck chairs on Feliciano's balcony. The Italian Nation lightly sipping his glass of wine and Arthur drinking right from the bottle, yet the way he held it with his fingers pressed against it ever so lightly was still graceful. He had his feet crossed neatly at the ankles and the hand that ran aggressively through his hair still left it falling handsomely from his face. Even in a rage, Arthur was ever the gentleman. Feliciano was envious of this trait, ever since that first day he'd really known him. But this evening, he was exceedingly so. How could someone be so angry, so sad, and so damn beautiful all at once?

"Who am I kidding," Arthur said in a biting tone, after a lot of staring at the ocean and not talking. "I don't want to bitch, Feli. I can tell you all I want you to hear in a snappy paragraph. The cold war is looming over all of us, particularly Alfred. First we just didn't spend a lot of time together, forgivable as we are Nations. But then the stress of him being away all the time, and the rest of this nonsense, led me to my favorite crutch named scotch. He doesn't like that and it's something to bicker about. One bicker leads to another and soon I'm crying about past wars. Still, I was trying to work through all that. But Alfred has a special stress crutch too, blondes. He made the mistake of apologizing for it. It would have been better not to know".

Arthur was crying a little again when he finished. Feliciano didn't know what to say. He wanted to encourage Arthur about how was a blonde too, one of the most handsome Feliciano could think of and maybe they ought to try hot meet-ups between their individual appointments. Feliciano had liked to talk his recent doctor fling into making out in her office's broom closet. Well, if you could even call a five day relationship a proper fling.

"Oh and I dumped him" Arthur added a few moments later when neither of them had spoken. He laughed at this and took a long drink.

It stung Feliciano to hear this. The little Italian hated hearing about bad romances. He rose to take the wine bottle from Arthur. The English Nation gave it up easily. Their fingers brushed.

"Aren't you going to say something, Feli" Arthur asked, sadly. His eyes looked desperate.

"You shouldn't quit so easily, Arthur. We live to long not to love someone" Feliciano encouraged. He then drank from the bottle himself, willing his mind away from the idea of putting attractive blondes he knew in order.

"I'm not quitting, Feli" Arthur said. He smiled.

"You mean to end up back with him then"?

"I've always been with him in some form or another; this is just a bad time….another bad time".

"I understand" Feliciano said. He almost explained how he did, but he figured Arthur knew.

Besides, he couldn't just say that he expected to be back with Ludwig someday out-loud. It would be like casting a spell to destroy all the strength he had clawed so desperately to build. He took another drink, the bottle was empty. He was seized with the desire to shatter it. So he did, forcefully against the iron banister. He didn't step back as the glass shattered, rather feeling like it didn't matter. Feliciano was shocked to feel Arthur's hands around his waist, the Englishman's forehead pressed to his back.

"These things pass, Feliciano" Arthur whispered. "Such long lives cause many changes. We can't always be together really, but we are. You have to let go and let time".

His words made perfect sense and his breath warm through Feliciano's thin, cotton sweater. The Italian was suddenly having all kinds of wonderful ideas for what to do while he waited. He could hear the little Romano in his brain telling him that flings with other nations were a really dangerous idea, but he couldn't seem to care. Humans could never understand him and just being distracted all the time wasn't cutting it anymore. Besides, The English Nation was so lovely. Suddenly all he wanted in the world was to know what Iggy tasted like and Feliciano had never been good at denying himself pleasure.

In a quick twist he had Arthur shoved back against the banister, one hand on the Englishman's hip and the other resting on the railing. He looked him dead in the eyes, licking his bottom lip with just the tip of his tongue. He made no other move, giving Arthur a moment to make up his mind. The Englishman quickly closed the distance between their lips with a long, soft kiss. Feliciano melted into to it. He couldn't recall the last time he'd felt such passion over such a simple gesture. Arthur ran his fingers through the Italian Nation's hair, it made him shiver. The kiss deepened and Feliciano lets his hand roam up Arthur's green button up, feeling the muscle of his back. Arthur pulled him down into the deck chair, so that Feliciano was lying above him. The Italian nation slowly ground their hips together, making Arthur moan. It was a masculine, throaty sound that made Italian's blood rush.

"This is amazing" Arthur gasp between kisses. Feliciano only hummed in response, popping the buttons of Arthur's shirt open.

That was the first of many times the two went to bed together. The last was the evening of November 9th 1989. Afterwards, they fell asleep in Feliciano's bed. He awoke that morning alone, though the bed was still warm where Arthur should have been. His bedroom television had been left on, turned up very loud. The screaming coming from it had startled him. As soon as he opened his eyes, he realized he had been dreaming of Ludwig. He tried to ignore the noise and remember the dream, he couldn't reach it. He rolled over to silence it with the remote control that usually lay on his nightstand. In its place was a hand-written note. Feliciano immediately realized Arthur's perfect, cursive script.

_Dearest Feliciano, _

_I know you don't like to be woken early from your sleep. But you really do want to watch the TV._

_Always your friend, Arthur. _

Feliciano had a feeling of foreboding about the easy use of the word "friend". He looked groggily up at the TV, rubbing one eye and stretching with the other. He screamed in shock at the news that he saw, clapping his hands to his mouth, tears of joy running down his face. The Berlin wall had fallen. There was Ludwig smiling on the screen amongst a crowd of his people. His hair shone gold in the sunlight. A wild-eyed albino, Feliciano had thought long dead, sat screaming on top his shoulders.

* * *

Again, I** would love to know what you guys think of how I write Feli**. I make him cry a lot, but that's pretty on par with the cannon. He has very easy feelings, something I'm very sympathetic of.

**I would also like to apologize for playing with your USUK feels.** I know that most of the fandom ships it. They're probably going to get their own epilogue.

**In the next chapter, **It's GerIta date night! Prepare for large clouds of fluffy wonderfulness...and some other stuff ;)

**If you review even two words on this it will bring me immense amounts of joy. **


	7. Loving

Thanks to Anime-Books Lover & cheshirejin for the follows! & to Anime-Books Lover again for the fave! Doitsu drank a beer in toast to both of you!

**In fair warning**, there is some detailed GerIta sex in this chapter.

* * *

"Crawling back to you  
(Do I wanna know?)  
If this feeling flows both ways?  
(Sad to see you go)  
Was sort of hoping that you'd stay  
(Baby we both know)  
That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day"

**Modern Berlin**

Ludwig slept into high noon. He opened his eyes to a ceiling that was the wrong color and it took him a moment to remember that he'd fallen asleep in Feliciano's bed, after the little Italian had left him to save Antonio from the elder Vargas sibling. The house was quiet except for the sound of Feliciano's breathing. He must have come back to bed sometime after the phone call. Ludwig shifted as quietly as possible, so he could turn to look at the smaller man. He was curled up in a ball beneath the sheets. His right arm was shoved under his pillow and his left lying just out of reach of where Ludwig's arm would have been; as if he might have been holding onto it as he drifted off to sleep. Ludwig often woke up to find Feliciano asleep beside him, yet today was very different. Today he had a wonderful, doubtless, warm feeling about it and a date to prepare for. He felt a wide smile grow on his face. After a few moments of watching his beloved's quiet breaths, he quietly left the room. Once out in the hall, he was struck with an uncontrollable happiness that he didn't really know how to channel. He started laughing at nothing, like a crazy person. Quickly he decided that a run was necessary to kill this excessive giddiness. He headed back towards his own rooms for his sweats.

He found the Trio still in his living room, all dead to the world. Francis was stripped down to tight pink boxer briefs, asleep almost entirely upside down in the recliner. Gilbert was face down on rug, snoring loudly. Antonio was gracefully reclined against a pile of pillows on the couch with his cell phone still pressed to his face. Ludwig did a 360 of the room before choosing the best angle from which to take a photograph. He snickered as he did it, reprimanding his own childish behavior. But Feliciano would like to see and he would be the last to wake up, besides one could always use a good blackmail photo of Francis.

The German Nation had the best run he could remember having for a long time. When he arrived home it was 4pm. Francis and Antonio were on the apartment's balcony. Antonio hung over it to wave at him. Ludwig nodded at him. He found Gilbert still dead on the rug. He watched him for a long moment just to make sure he was breathing correctly. The maid was in. She informed him the Mr. Vargas had gone out shopping, but had absolutely promised to be back no later than six and that he said Ludwig should be ready then. The maid winked at him. He couldn't control the blush that spread to his cheeks and quickly exited the room.

He glanced at his wristwatch. It was a golden Prada with a pearl face, a bit excessively nice for Ludwig's taste and a gift from a certain Italian. The time was 4:15. He had less than two hours left to prepare the date. He nervously ran his fingers over the felt box in his pocket, remembering what his brother had said about how he ought to give Feliciano everything he could. He carefully wrapped the little box in shiny golden paper and topped it off with a red bow. He then hid in within his nightstand drawer.

The German had a quick shower, before wrapping himself in a crisp, white towel and going to confront the evil that was choosing a proper outfit for his first official date with the flashy Italian. He had discarded every dress shirt he owned into an uncharacteristically messy pile on the floor and was considering going out to quickly buy a new one, when a quick succession of knocks came at his door.

"Hey, Ludwig. It's me Toni. Gilbert says you need me to save you from yourself" Antonio announced himself with a small laugh. "He sent clothes".

Ludwig quickly let Antonio in, with little thought to the state of his dress.

"Damn!" Antonio appraised with a whistle, looking Ludwig up and down. "Don't ever let me take my shirt off around you…and I thought Gilbert had abs". Ludwig blushed and Antonio laughed harder.

"Don't worry about it, I've seen plenty of men's abs. Check out the shopping Gilbert and I did for you. Feli's going to not even want to go out after he sees this!...or you could just wear that towel" Antonio winked. He had flopped down on the edge of Ludwig's bed and was pulling garments out. First he produced a pair of chocolate brown dress pants, then matching socks, and leather oxfords. Next came a simple brown fedora hat and a brown vest with golden buttons. Last was a sky blue, button down. Ludwig was horror struck.

"I don't wear things like that"!

"We know that. That's why we bought them! Feli loves things like this! He'll love it! Come on, try it on" Antonio begged. He was bouncing up and down in excitement.

Ludwig sighed. Feliciano did like things like that and his brother had gone through the trouble of buying them. He went to the bathroom to change. The clothes were soft to the touch making Ludwig imagine that Feliciano would like the way they felt under his fingers. They fit perfectly and once he allowed the strangeness to sink in, he could admit that he looked nice. He noticed the shirt was the same color as his eyes. The Trio were being very thoughtful. Ludwig made a mental note to be kinder about Gilbert dragging their silly parties into his home.

Even though he felt good about the clothes, he felt awkward about the unveiling. Outside his door, he could hear chatting. This indicated that they had all three arrived. He dreaded hearing Francis's response to him being fashion forward. Slowly, he opened the door and stepped out.

"Tres beau!" Francis exclaimed, clapping his hands to his mouth. Antonio clapped and smiled brightly.

"Whoa" Gilbert exclaimed. "…I mean….Geez, Lud you should dress up more often. The Italian is going to drop dead"!

"Speaking of which, it's 6'oclock!" Antonio reminded everyone.

"He was waiting in the living room when I came in" Francis informed.

"And he looked really freakin good" Gilbert added.

Ludwig quickly walked out the door, happily leaving the trio behind him. But he was struck with nerves when he approached the living room door and heard the gentle humming inside. How long had he wanted something like this to happen and here he was hesitating a foot away from it, terrified. He took a long deep breath and just listened to the humming; thinking of the beautiful, priceless person producing it.

_There's nothing to fear here. Not anymore. _Ludwig reminded himself and quickly stepped through the doorway. Feliciano was in his arms before he had the time to properly look at him. He smelled like something spicy and sweet all at once, like gingerbread. But it was a thousand times more enthralling than gingerbread. The German wondered if his heart might explode.

"I'm so excited, Ludwig!" The little Italian exclaimed, looking up at his date. "You're wearing a fedora"!

Feliciano stepped back to have a better look and Ludwig did the same. The little Italian was dressed in a flowing white linen shirt; open at the neck, so that the chain, but not the actual iron cross was visible. His black jeans were tight in all the right places and he wore knee length boots of soft, grey leather. The heel on them was an inch high. There was a large emerald on his right, ring finger. He was smiling boldly, though he was blushing.

"You look fantastico!" Feliciano complemented, taking the German nation's hand in his own. Ludwig ran his thumb over the emerald.

"Not so fantastisch as you" He mumbled, looking at the green stone. "But I'm glad you like this. I wanted to dress fashionably for you".

"You did this for me!" Feliciano gasped, running his free hand down the soft blue shirt, between where the brown vest hung open. The fabric was so thin that Ludwig could feel his fingertips. "Will you always dress like this when you take me on dates"?

"If that makes you happy" Ludwig promised, relishing the ease with which Feliciano referred to their future. He looked up at the Italian Nation's eyes after he said it. Feliciano had a tear rolling down his cheek.

"Nein" Ludwig whispered sternly, taking his face in his hands and kissing the tear drop away. Feliciano laughed happily, wrapping his arms around the German's neck and pulling him into a deep kiss. Ludwig felt warm tears, that were not his own, against his face.

"I'm so overwhelmed" Feliciano murmured, pulling away.

"Ja. None of this seems real" Ludwig agreed.

"I think this is the first time that things have been real with us" Feliciano corrected him. Ludwig knew he was right.

"I'm so sorry".

"There's no need for that. Today is a wonderful day, Doitsu!" Feliciano corrected. "Let's go to the bistro"! He laced their fingers together and led Ludwig towards the door. The larger man allowed him too. It was nice not to be the one who had to decide everything for a while and walking slightly behind the Italian allowed him a delightful view.

The bistro Feliciano spoke of was the only place in the city that served good Italian food and he always wanted to go. So, Ludwig wasn't surprised that he had chosen for their date. It was on the 27th floor of a sky-scraper. The sitting area was a large, open room covered in little tables for groups of two or four. Multi-colored chandeliers cast a dim light, only supported by candelabras on the tables. The floor was covered in oriental rugs and all the sides of the room, except for the one that faced the kitchen, were covered by floor to ceiling windows that provided a splendid view of the city below. The waiter's wore black suits with waistcoats and called everyone sir. The little Italian was so expected there, that they kept him a table in the evenings. That night was no different in that sense.

The waiter knew them well enough to ask after the absence of Gilbert. Ludwig opened his mouth to say something simple to the effect of Gilbert being at home with his friends. But Feliciano explained wordlessly, by picking up his partner's hand and bringing it across the small table to kiss. His emerald shone in the candlelight. Ludwig looked away from the waiter in embarrassment, but the man only chuckled before returning to the kitchen with their orders.

"Did you mind" Feliciano asked, moving their hands back to rest on the spotless, white table cloth.

"Nein" Ludwig said honestly. "It was sweet, but unexpected".

"Perhaps, I shouldn't be so touchy in public?" Feliciano suggested, looking a little ashamed. He moved to take his hand away, but Ludwig held it firmly.

"I said you could touch me whenever you liked. I'll get used to it". Feliciano's resulting smile was luminous.

Soon they were playfully fighting over whose football team had the best bet of winning the world cup, as if nothing had changed between them. It felt the same way for the rest of the dinner really, except that were holding hands across the table, and Feliciano rubbed his leg against Ludwig's, and Ludwig fed Feliciano bites off his plate with his own fork, and Gilbert wasn't there to flirt loudly with the waitresses. It was all the same, except it was real for the first time because no one was holding anything back. Ludwig felt amazing, in love with everything about the moment. Had ever felt like this before? Perhaps, as a child. Maybe this is what Gilbert referred to when he spoke of the post-serious years.

They sat contently at their little table for hours, eating about half the menu and drinking a large bottle of wine in the process. They only rose to leave when the waiter kindly reminded them that it was closing time. Feliciano asked the man to take a photograph of them on his cell phone first. The waiter obliged happily. Remembering his embarrassment at the kiss to his hand earlier, Ludwig boldly leaned across the table to kiss Feliciano's temple for the picture. The waiter called them a highly attractive couple and Feliciano was so delighted he immediately set the photo as his phone background. Ludwig walked Feliciano to the elevator with a hand on his waste and was too elated by the easiness of the gesture to feel fear of disapproval.

"Would you like to go somewhere else" Ludwig asked him, when they had returned to his white, BMW hatchback.

He opened Feliciano's door for him, at which the little Italian giggled. Once he was seated inside, Feliciano rolled down the window and motioned for Ludwig to lean closer. The German didn't understand, but he leaned down to the window anyway. The Italian Nation took the blonde's face between his hands and kissed him fiercely on the lips, dragging his tongue across the plumper bottom one, before pulling away.

"I want you to take me home" Feliciano instructed in sultry tone, that sent chills down Ludwig's spine.

"Happily" The German nation replied, making sure his tone was heavy. A blush stained the Feliciano's cheeks, yet he smiled fearlessly.

Feliciano turned the Radio to an obnoxious Italian pop station for the half hour trip back across the city. Ludwig would have hated it, but the little Italian sang along and that was adorable. Besides, he was too busy trying to check his plan of the next half of his evening to really even pay that much attention. Their elevator ride to Ludwig's tenth floor apartment was empty and quiet. Feliciano leaned against the wall opposite of him the whole time, smiling. Ludwig could see his own reflection smiling back in the mirrored walls. He knew this game; he wouldn't be the first one to crack, even if he was finding hard to find his reflection intimidating due to the flashy nature of his outfit.

When they arrived at their personal floor, Feliciano wrapped his arm around Ludwig's while he unlocked the door. The German could feel him shivering. He wanted the Italian, yet he was so used to wanting and not acting that no lust had really set in yet. That all quickly changed when they stepped inside the empty apartment to find an expensive bottle of French wine sitting in the floor, with a note tapped to it that promised a trio free evening.

Feliciano picked it up immediately; traipsing off the kitchen that was just to their right, and popping it open with a satisfying plop. Ludwig watched him from the hall, somewhat unsure of what movements to make now. He knew how to be seductive, but this was Feliciano. He just didn't think the usual routine would be good enough. The Italian walked back out to where he stood and took a long drink; he didn't swallow and motioned with his emerald clad finger for Ludwig to come hither. His eyes had an unfamiliar and very attractive gleam to them. Ludwig leaned down into his lips gently and received his share of the rich, red wine. It was the same as the night before, but not really. Ludwig quickly pinned the little Italian up against the wall to evolve the kiss, running his hand under the silky white shirt to tightly grip the cross in his fingers. Feliciano wrapped his free hand around the back of the German's neck.

"I love you" Feliciano gasped, breaking away from the kiss and going immediately to kissing Ludwig's neck.

"I've loved you for decades" Ludwig returned, easily brushing the smaller man off his feet and carrying him through the house to his bedroom.

He quickly deposited the wine bottle on top of his dresser, before dropping the Italian on the end of his bed and dipping down onto his knees on the floor in front of him. Feliciano wrapped his legs around the German's torso, so that his boot heels dug into his back. He then tossed off Ludwig's hat and kissed him again, running his fingers through his hair. Ludwig quickly dominated the kiss, not that Feliciano put up much of a fight.

When he pulled away, he extended Feliciano's right leg out straight. Then he slowly undid the series of golden latches that held his boot place, until it could be easily slipped off and thrown over his shoulder. The Italian was wearing a black sock with little pink hearts on it. Very feminine, just like the boots. Ludwig thought it was adorable. He held Feliciano's ankle in his hand and kissed the edge of his toes without any bashfulness. Feliciano curled them up and giggled. The German looked up to be gifted with another glowing smile. His thoughts of how to delicately handle such an important night had flown out the window, Feliciano's words about this being their first honest day floating in the back of his mind. He was going to take his sweet time and enjoy his beloved for all the night's he hadn't in the past.

He dropped Feliciano's bootless leg, only to feel it caressing his side as he made quicker work of the other boot. The sock didn't match, it was simply hot pink. Ludwig smiled at this. It was entirely Feliciano to do something so messy. He kissed this foot as well, looking directly at Feliciano's eyes as he did so. They seemed to glow golden in the dim light from his lamp. The Italian looked a bit intimidated; Ludwig wondered if perhaps he had expected a messier sort of passion. But Ludwig was never messy and he didn't mind the look, it was actually a bit of turn on. He decided to surprise his lover some more.

Pulling the Italian's feet over his shoulders in a quick movement, he leaned forward to place a kiss over the bulging zipper of his tight jeans. Feliciano gasped in response and Ludwig felt a hand grasp his hair. The German then bite down lightly on the bulge, feeling Feliciano's legs shake on his shoulders and the Italian's hand grip tighter in his hair. He glanced up to see the smaller man biting his lip in a very attractive way.

"I think I've finally found a way to shut you up" The German observed, coarsely "Should I have tried it in the trenches"? Feliciano's face turned bright red and he nervously shuffled his feet behind Ludwig's head.

"Maybe" he mumbled. Ludwig was pleased by his yielding manner, though he made a mental note to be careful of what Feliciano responded best too. He needed this to be perfect for both of them.

He undid the button of Feliciano's jeans quickly, then he pulled the zipper down with his teeth. Feliciano shook all over, letting out a little gasp, and his grip on Ludwig's hair became so intense that the German rather expected it to pull. He laughed gruffly, so that his breath came down over Feliciano's partially espoused briefs. They were black with red hearts as well. Feliciano let go his first loud moan. Ludwig slipped out from under his legs before standing and roughly pulling his jeans all the way to his ankles by the waistband. He then had to tug them the rest of the way as they were very snug. Feliciano had fallen back onto the bed, so that his shirt rose a little off his beautifully tan, unmuscular stomach. He'd thrown his right arm over his face and his left hand clenched in the German's spotless, white comforter. Ludwig took a moment to admire the beautiful scene, topped off by his discovery that the Italian's socks rose all the way to his mid-thigh. He tossed away his vest before crawled over top of Felicano on the bed, placing a line of kisses up the side of his neck.

"I think you dressed for me as well...and on the first date too" he whispered in his ear. Feliciano took the hand from his face and ran it along the German's jaw. There were tears in his eyes.

"I've always wanted to do that" the Italian whispered, huskily.

Ludwig noted that he was smirking. He gave him a soft kiss, leaning their foreheads together, and allowing his eyes to close for a moment. He shoved up the fabric of the Italian's shirt and ran his hand down his smooth stomach, ultimately shoving it beneath the heart covered fabric and warping his hand around the hard, already damp, member there. Feliciano moaned into his mouth and Ludwig drug his tongue along the side of the Italian's, before he pulled away to kneel again at the front of the bed. He pulled off Felicano's briefs, parted his legs and gently licked the Italian's tip with a snake-like movement. Feliciano produced a delightful gasp, arching his back. Ludwig grabbed the smaller nation's shirt and used it to pull him up in a sitting position, before taking his entire dick into his mouth.

"Doooiiiitttssu" Feliciano moaned, quickly wrapping both hands into the other man's hair.

The silky fabric of his shirt tickled the back of Ludwig's neck as he bobbed his head. He pulled away just as Feliciano's breath had grown extremely erratic, shoving the Italian back on the bed and pulling his shirt roughly over his head, leaving him in nothing but his long socks and iron cross. Ludwig kissed the necklace, affectionately.

"You're hurting my hair" Ludwig complained in a faux tone, his head hovering less than an inch from the Italian's. "And you wore mismatched clothing to spite me, not to mention that you look so simply sinful. What do you want to do to make up for it"? He couldn't stand to go pure vanilla with this encounter. It would be too predictable, when what he wanted was memorable and shocking.

"I'll…do whatever _my_ Ludwig wants me to do" The Italian suggested, somewhat shakily. But he smiled, making Ludwig sure he knew the object of this game.

The German nation pulled away, tugging Feliciano up onto his knees by the silver chain that held his cross. But not with so much force that it might have bruised him. He then pulled them down so that Feliciano was sitting open legged on Ludwig's pants and Ludwig was sitting with his back to the headboard.

"I'm going to make you scream" Ludwig promised him, running his hand down the curve of the Italian's side. "Would you like that"?

Feliciano nodded, opening his mouth as if he might say something. But couldn't find the words. The German chuckled. He could feel the Italian's erection throb against the side of his leg. He wordlessly pressed his three middle fingers to the Italian's mouth. Feliciano took them in immediately, closing his eyes and sucking with a force that Ludwig made a note to put to work in other areas.

"You look like such an eager whore when you suck like that" Ludwig complemented, using his free hand to pop the buttons of his shirt open. "It's so much more erotic than I ever even imagined and I've done a lot of thinking about how you might suck".

He was pleased by the obvious shiver his rude words sent through the Italian's body and by the even greater vigor with which he sucked. He quickly used his other hand to slide his pants down so that his erect member was exposed. When he was sure they were quite soaked, Ludwig popped his fingers free of Feliciano's mouth and shoved him backwards onto the bed with his clean hand. He then shoved off his pants and shoes with his feet, leaving him naked except for the blue shirt that hung open on his shoulders. Feliciano opened his legs for him, without prompt. Ludwig did his best to commit the scene to memory in the moment he allowed himself to look, before he came down to fiercely kiss the Italian. He gripped his clean hand tightly around a certain curl and inserted the wet middle finger of the other firmly into the Italian. He soon had all of his hand, but his thumb shoved deeply into the smaller man's hot insides and the Italian was bucking back to meet in a way that made Ludwig doubt he could be as gentle with him as he originally intended to be.

Still pumping into the Italian with one hand, he used his other to fish the bottle of lube out his nightstand drawer. It was far to reach and he only accomplished it by bending over backwards. As he pulled it out, he felt smooth wrapping paper against his fingers. It brought a smile to his face. He removed his hand from inside his new lover and cupped his face, gently bringing him back to a sitting position.

"Why did you make me move?" The Italian whined, fingers twisting up in the sides of Ludwig's beautiful, ice blue shirt. He was shaky and flush.

"I want you to do it" he instructed, holding up the little bottle of lubricant.

"Oh" Feliciano observed happily, taking the bottle and squeezing a generous amount of it into the palm of his hand.

Felicano brought his hand tentatively down between them and slowly stroked the German's dick until it was perfectly damp. The little Italian then shoved him back so that he was leaning against the headboard again. Before mounting his lap and pulling the German entirely inside of him. He quickly established a steady pace, moaning wantonly and gripping his hands against the Ludwig's shoulders for leverage. The large nation allowed it for a moment, wrapping his hands around the Italian's supple hips and relishing the amazing feel and image of the little other man riding him.

However, it wasn't long before he couldn't bear the loss of control. Ludwig easily took one of Feliciano's wrists in each of his hands and flipped them over, so that the Italian was lying flat on his back, his arms trapped at his sides, with the larger man above.

"Ah, love" Feliciano moaned, easily giving up control and submitting to the German's harsher rhythm. "Better than I imagined".

The complement spurred Ludwig on and he began to furiously pound into his little lover, so that curl on his head bounced. Feliciano was screaming, as he had been promised, near the end. Ludwig came first, spilling himself inside the Italian, releasing his hands, and then quickly ducking down the remedy the situation with his mouth. It only took a few licks before his mouth was filled with the Italian's seed. He'd never swallowed before, but he tried to do so all in one gulp and threw his head back in what he imagined would be a sexy way. He heard the Italian hum at it and when he looked back at his beloved, he was smiling. Ludwig quickly covered him to kiss the smile and the Italian returned it with enthusiasm. He dug his nails sharply into the German's back, bringing him a delicious stinging feeling.

But when the kiss was broken, the little Italian sighed in exhaustion. He wrapped his fingers lazily in the shirt of the German was still above him, and stroked his chest with his other hand.

"You are the most beautiful man in all the world" Feliciano said, affectionately. "And that was utterly amazing. Can we do it again later"? Ludwig laughed at that, rolling over to lie beside the Italian, stroking his hand down the side of his jaw.

"I am not the _most _beautiful" Ludwig assured him. "and I've already told you that you may touch me whenever you want". Feliciano sighed in response, curling around Ludwig so that his leg was thrown over the German's and his head was snuggled into the crook of his neck.

They were about to fall asleep when the Italian began to cry. Ludwig quickly pulled away from him to look at his face in concern.

"I'm afraid to go to sleep" Feliciano explained. "All of today seems so unnatural.."

Ludwig was cut to the bone by the statement. He gathered the Italian tightly in his arms and rocked him against his chest.

"I know it's silly…I…but" Feliciano began to try to explain, his tears growing fiercer. Ludwig silenced him with his mouth.

"I assure you that everything about today was real. Here". The German pinched the Italian, fiercely. He cried out, but the room remained as it was. Feliciano laughed at the silly gesture. Ludwig laughed too.

Ludwig thought of the box in the drawer and suggested that Feliciano go clean up in the bath, so that they might drink on the balcony. The Italian hurried happily away. Ludwig figured the wine would ease the Italian's nerves and it was the most romantic spot in the apartment. He hoped that would be good enough for Feliciano, perhaps he should have asked the others.

* * *

So, **that's my second time writing a whole sex scene ever.** I obsessed over it! **What do you think? I'd love to know!**

**In the next chapter Feli opens the box!** Prepare yourself for so many a fluff. That's the last official chapter, as it's the end of the song. But I'm planning a wedding chapter too! and a USUK ending. Plus, I think one last flashback chapter. Idk what order to put those in yet.

**Thanks a whole lot for reading!**

**P.S. **Have you ever edited a gay love scene while your super homophobic little brother draws Pokemon fan art in the floor? Of course, he didn't know about it. But that just makes it feel more mischievous. I consider this my passive-aggressive vengeance for refusing to listen to his stupid "adam and steve" speech in the living room. Like everyone hasn't already heard that load of crap? sigh. I mean, it's just one of those things that pisses me off before anyone has even started speaking. It's hard to live with people who want to be so narrow minded. But they do love me, so I'll just stay away from him for a while and get over it. I'm straight, btw. I just can't stand narrow minds.

**Oh and another reminder, **if you enjoy this story, **please check out my other GerIta fic**. It's a "Germany is Holy Rome" head cannon fic. I really am sold on him being Holy Rome.


	8. Accepting

Thanks to Trunksgurl05 for the fave & follow! & to bowser1918 for following as well! Romano is willing to admit that you're both alright ;)

**This is it! This is the official end of the story!** So many feels in this chapter. The weak of heart may want to keep a tissue nearby.

* * *

"(Do I wanna know?)  
Too busy being yours to fall  
(Sad to see you go)  
Ever thought of calling darling?  
(Do I wanna know?)  
Do you want me crawling back to you?"

While Feliciano sang a cute Italian tune in the shower, Ludwig lay alone and struggled with the pros and cons of consulting other nations on his love life for a solid ten minutes. He ultimately convinced himself that the embarrassment would be worth any extra happiness it might provide his lover. The German nation retrieved his cell phone from his discarded pants, slipped them and his socks back on, and walked out to Gilbert's room on the other side of the apartment. He couldn't bear the idea that Feliciano might hear him make this call. The German nation reclined comfortably on his brother's black, sleigh bed, shirt still hanging off his shoulders, and scrolled through the numbers in the "Nations" directory of his Blackberry's contact list.

He had first thought of Gilbert, whom he called about everything. But what did Gilbert really know about romance. His advice to Ludwig about how to confess had been to buy Feliciano stuff and call him hot. The country of love came to mind next, but Ludwig couldn't bear hearing the French Nation's reaction. Austria was a trusted source of information, but Ludwig expected that he would be just as lost as he was. Kiku wouldn't really know, either. Finally, he decided that Antonio would be the best choice. He would react just as crazily as Francis, but he was Lovino's lover. Ludwig had long known no one was more like Italy than Lovino, even if he liked to put on a show of being more bad than he was.

He pressed call next to Antonio's name. It rang for a solid minute and just when he was considering trying Kiku, the Spaniard picked up.

"Whoa amigo!" drunk Antonio slurred over some very loud music. "Hold on a moment, gotta step out. HEY, GILBERT! YEAH YOU, YOU SLUTTY PRUSSIAN". Ludwig sighed at the fact that the Spanish Nation had called Gilbert, but what could he do about it now.

"Hey" Antonio said when the noise had died down. "Should you be on the phone, tonight? Roma would bake my phone into lasagna".

"Did he get laid?!" Prussia screamed.

"I didn't really want to speak to Gil…" Ludwig explained.

"Oh, my bad" Antonio replied. "Hold on another sec. Gilbert take your crazy ass back in there and keep Francis alive".

"But that's my baby brother" Gilbert whined.

"He's hundreds of years old".

"and I'm older"!

"He said he didn't want to talk to you".

"Give me the phone"!

"No".

"Toni" Gilbert whined, pathetically.

Ludwig almost felt bad, but then he remembered that his Gilbert had texted a shirtless picture of him doing squats to Francis last week. He heard feet pounding on the asphalt, he assumed Antonio was running from Gilbert and considered hanging up on them. But then he heard a car door slam shut and Antonio spoke again.

"Locked myself in his car" Antonio explained. "He's leaning on the windshield giving me the bird". Ludwig laughed a little at that image. He heard a snapping sound.

"What was that" he asked.

"Picture, you know. Want me to text it to you" Antonio asked. Ludwig sighed.

"Can you be serious for a moment! …But yeah, I want to see the picture".

"Oh no! What happened"?

"Nein. Everything is…better than wonderful. I'm very happy. Thank you for assistance" Ludwig tried to explain, feeling his words get caught in his throat. He hadn't been so emotionally overwhelmed for quite some time.

"I'm so happy!" Antonio squealed. Ludwig couldn't help but smile at the Spanish Nation's enthusiasm.

"I'm worried…"

"About what"?

"I want to propose".

Antonio burst into some sort of ridiculous, fan-girly squee on the other end of the phone. Ludwig rolled his eyes. He heard dialing.

"What are you doing"?

"Calling Roma, of course"!

"Antonio"!

"No. No. He won't yell at you. He's who to ask, you must realize. Who else would know better"?

"Hey, Bastard! Taking break from making out with your friends, I see. Will you better be because I'm going to be there in the morning and I'm going to bend you…" .

"Oh, please stop" Ludwig cut the elder Vargas off.

"What the hell, potato! Why are you on my bastard's phone"?

"I'm here too" Antonio shot in.

"Yeah. But why is potato bastard, tomato bastard"?

"Could you be serious" Ludwig begged, attempting to rub away the headache that was brewing in his temple. He heard Romano's breath catch.

"What's wrong!? Is something wrong with Fratello"?

"Chill, love" Antonio instructed.

"I'll tell you when to chill"!

"Mi tomate, Ludwig has a very important favor to ask of you" Antonio begged.

"Fine" Romano said, sullenly. "And don't call me your fucking tomato"!

Antonio laughed.

"I…um..." Ludwig tried to find the words to ask, but he couldn't seem to figure out to avoid pinching Romano's super sensitive nerves.

"Lovi, Ludwig wants to make him and Feli official. He's going to give him a ring. He doesn't know how exactly how to go about doing it. I thought we should ask you. Play nice" Antonio explained for him. Ludwig heard Romano take a deep breath. No one spoke for a moment. He felt like he was standing in the sights of a Russian sniper, perhaps even Russia himself.

"About freakin time" Romano finally said. "You got him something real nice, right? Like he wants a woman's wedding ring. Not because he like wants to be your wife, there just prettier. He likes huge stones, and metalwork patterns, an all that".

"I did" Ludwig replied, hesitantly. Romano had never spoken so straightforwardly with him. "It's a round cut set in rose gold band with leafy, vine like metalwork…It made me think of tomatoes". Antonio made the squee sound again.

"He'll like that" Romano approved. "You also have to do the whole one knee thing and make a speech. Don't worry too much about that. You know, just make sure you say a bunch of nice stuff about him. Did you take him out today? Like you have been in public together"?

"His favorite restaurant" Ludwig replied.

"Good and um, you guys have..well.."

"Yes".

"And you're going to do both those things a lot and all the other stupid stuff that makes my fratello happy, like gelato and cats and sappy movies"?

"Always".

"Pick somewhere pretty".

"The balcony!" Antonio suggested. It comforted Ludwig that the Spaniard had thought of the same nice place.

"If you're going to use your city balcony, do it at night with all the lights. And um, have him call me later" Romano said. Ludwig heard a catch in his voice, but wasn't sure about it.

"Are you crying, Lovi" Antonio asked, gently.

"I'm not crying, bastard!" Romano came back. But the way his voice cracked made it obvious. It touched Ludwig's heart.

"Thank you so much, Romano" Ludwig said, earnestly.

"Whatever, potato brother" Romano replied, briskly hanging up the phone.

"I should really call him back. But he called you brother! He's really happy about you and Feli, we all are" Antonio exclaimed. "Do you even know how long we've been shipping this? Can I tell Gil, so he won't kill me when I get out of this car? He's circling me like a vulture, man".

"You can tell Gilbert and tell him…that I love him, alright? Good Night, Antonio. Thank you".

"Ah geez, I'm crying. Good night" Antonio hung up. Ludwig couldn't wait to see Gilbert later. But there was someone more important to see now. He used Gilbert's silver, medieval looking mirror to smooth is hair back into place and button up the bottom of his shirt. On his way out the door, he noticed a very old drawing in a golden frame. It had Roderick's name signed to it. It was of Gilbert and Ludwig, when Ludwig was just a child. Those memories were a bit fuzzy now, but The German Nation felt a very keen sense of how loved he was as he gazed at it.

"I'm still striving to be the type of man you had envisioned I would become, brother. I've made a lot of mistakes, but I think you will be proud of how I treat Feliciano" Ludwig told the empty room, feeling like he was praying, before hurrying off to Felicano.

The Italian Nation was waiting for him in what was honestly more their bedroom than his, even before. He had dressed in one of Ludwig's plain white button downs and a pair of the other man's boxer shorts, which barely hung on his waste. He was still wearing the socks. Ludwig saw that he had already retrieved two wine glasses and was drinking with one hand, while texting with the other.

"Fratello always writes back" he said, quizzically looking up at Ludwig.

"It's late and he has a long trip tomorrow" Ludwig reminded the Italian. Even that bit of lying made him feel guilty, but he couldn't explain and ruin the moment to come.

"Oh, yeah" Feliciano agreed, tossing down the phone and running to Ludwig's arms. Ludwig returned the hug, burying his face in the Felicano's soft hair. He couldn't seem to phantom why he hadn't let himself have these sorts of indulgences before.

"I have a gift for you" Ludwig said, knowing what kind of reaction that would get.

The Italian hopped away and began to look up and down for it excitedly. Obviously, he couldn't see it as it was still in the nightstand drawer.

"Ludwig!" The smaller nation complained.

"Go out to the balcony and take the wine, I'll bring it to you" Ludwig promised. He watched, amused as the Italian quickly dashed out of the room.

He walked over to the nightstand drawer and removed the package, holding it neatly in his hands. All sorts of negative thoughts bounced around in his head, how he had been cruel not to do this sooner, how he was undeserving of someone like Feliciano, that it was his fault the Italian had been disgraced in the war. But he tried to put them away and think only of the love he had seen in the little Italian tonight. While he was still brave, he hurried out the balcony, pausing just beyond the door and giving his plan one last run through. Feliciano had turned on all the lanterns that hung from the railing and it made the whole balcony seem to glow. He could clearly see the Italian sitting in an iron chair, looking at the city beyond, sock clad ankles crossed, humming. He was the epitome of everything that was good in the world. Ludwig realized that even before the most terrible of his failures, he would have never felt himself worthy of this person's affections. But he had received them anyway and he must begin to try to make good on them.

He opened the door making sure to hold the package up where it would be immediately visible. Feliciano clapped his hands together excitedly. The German Nation started to kneel immediately, but he didn't want to give away the surprise of what was hidden inside the paper. Ludwig simply leaned against the balcony railing and handed Feliciano the box as if it were a simple sort of gift.

"So cute" Feliciano exclaimed.

He held the tiny box up so that he could inspect the wrapping. First he popped the little bow off the top and pressed to Ludwig's chest, then began to open it in a gentle way that would not disturb the paper too much. Finally, he had revealed the tiny, red velvet box. Ludwig saw strange mix of fear and wonder on his face. The German quickly dropped to his knees in front of him, popping the lid of the box open for Feliciano to see. The Italian let out an extremely startled gasp, his eyes growing wide. He clapped his free hand to his face.

"Feliciano, I realize that I haven't always been very considerate to you" Ludwig began, placing his hand on the Italian's knee and looking down. "When I first met you, I wanted rid of you because I had no idea what to do with someone like you… Someone so gentle and kind. Then when we became allies and I had to figure out how to work you into my rigid world view. Every moment I was privileged enough to spend with you opened my eyes for the better".

"You ended up being the only light I could see in some very dark, unfortunate years. Years in which your allegiance to me disgraced you and drug you down. When my sanity was about gone, all I could think of where your words in the note Alfred brought; that we would be together again on a brighter day".

"When you came back, I couldn't tell myself that I did not love you any longer. But I let the idea that I would further destroy my image as a Nation infect me. I had been unable to prevent people from dying for the kind of love that I was feeling. It was Gilbert who showed me that I could be a beacon of hope for that kind of love; that in denying myself, I only hurt my own countrymen. Forgive me for doubting you, for ignoring you, for hiding my feelings, for hurting your reputation, for things I may not even think to mention. Forgive me and accept me as yours, let me make up for the long years that I did and said nothing, every day, until I perish. Please".

Ludwig was openly crying at the end of his speech, long trails of silent tears dripping down the sides of his face. He could feel Feliciano's knee shaking under his hand. He looked up to find the little Italian was crying as well. He was still holding the felt box open in his hands. He held it out to the German.

"Put it on my finger" he instructed, shakily. Ludwig quickly took it from the box and placed it on his ring finger. It fit a little loose, but he could get that fixed. He kissed it where it rested.

"You accept?" He asked, fearfully.

"Of course, I accept. Did you really doubt that I would?" Feliciano questioned, pushing his chair away and dropping down so he was on his knees in front of the German. He cupped the other man's face in his hands. Ludwig felt the cool band of the ring against his cheek. "I wish I'd known that you felt these things sooner. You have made mistakes, but I made them and Kiku made them too. You have never disappointed me. I was in love with you before we even became allies. You are the strongest person I have ever known. I would be a fool to reject you".

Ludwig kissed him fiercely, dragging him down onto the concrete, wrapping their hands together so that he could feel the ring. They ended up making love again, before they had even made it in off the balcony. Feliciano feel asleep as soon as they'd gone back to bed. But Ludwig's mind was too busy, so he heard the quiet click of the door as Gilbert let himself in. As loathe as he was to leave Feliciano, he was dying to share his success. He slipped quietly from the room. Gilbert was in the kitchen, eating cheerios in the dark. As soon as he saw Ludwig, he smiled ear to ear and swallowed quickly.

"Well?" the Prussian Nation asked excitedly.

"Ja" Germany replied simply, smiling.

"I'm so proud"!

The albino was so excited, he dropped his cereal to break all over the floor and ran over to wrap his arms around his little brother, issuing his unique laugh. Ludwig didn't even care about the mess. He picked the smaller man up and spun him in a full circle, laughing along with him.

When the German Nation came back to bed, his lover hadn't moved. His right arm was lying against the sheets, where it had been thrown against Ludwig's chest. The diamond shone in the moonlight from the window. Ludwig stood and looked at it for a long time, wanting to remember the way Feliciano looked and the exact excess of happiness he was feeling. He then slipped back into bed, gently placing the Italian's arm back across his abs. He fell asleep quickly, realizing that his anxious mind had been waiting for his brother's approval.

He awoke to a quiet sniffling. Opening his eyes, without moving, he glimpsed Feliciano wiping at his own.

"Ouch" the little Italian mumbled, having poked himself in the eye with his engagement ring. He quickly looked over to see if he had woken his partner. Ludwig couldn't help but smile at him.

"You were crying?" the German inquired.

"Si" Feliciano admitted, turning so his face was close to Ludwig's. He wrapped his ankle around the German's beneath the covers. "I had a dream about the past, a bad one. You do that sometimes too, don't you? I know you don't tell me about it, but sometimes you wake up at odd hours. I think it's kinda a normal thing for us, Nations, don't you? I mean we have so much to remember that sometimes our mind just goes to work without us. I used to dream about you a lot when I didn't see you".

"I did too" Ludwig admitted. "But not frightening things, at least not often. Did you dream something bad about me"?

He knew talking made Feliciano feel better and he was curious to hear about the other man's dreams. It wasn't something they had discussed often, maybe because Ludwig was always awake well before Feliciano. He made a mental note to be more attentive.

"It wasn't bad. I just thought it was real again. For a while, I wasn't sure what year it really was anymore. Then I looked around and saw the city outside and the digital clock and then the ring on my hand". He held it up, so it glinted in the light. "It was rather nice dream, about the flower festivals that are common in Italy. We should go to a flower festival! But I was at that one with Arthur and he was telling me about roses. He knows an awful lot about that…"

"Arthur?" Ludwig interrupted. "A friend of yours"?

"Yeah. But wouldn't you say he's your friend too? After all, we're all in the UN together".

"You're talking about England?" Ludwig asked. He wasn't even aware that Feliciano liked England.

"He used to come visit me. We were both lonely…during the Cold War. Does that bother you?" Feliciano inquired.

"No. I just didn't know…I suppose I wouldn't know much at all about what you were doing during the Cold War" Ludwig explained. He frowned.

"Do you want to?" Feliciano inquired. "…I didn't think you'd want to talk too much about it".

Ludwig struggled with the question. He wanted to know what Feliciano had done all that time, but he didn't want to talk too much about himself. That would only make the little Italian sad.

"I would like to know some. I naturally like to know about you" the German Nation answered.

"That's sweet!" Feliciano replied. "But then I don't know what to say. You know I kinda ramble".

"Was that the whole dream"?

"Oh no, I hadn't even gotten to the part about you yet. It's not even really about you…you might think it's silly. But there were a lot of cornflowers, the kind that grow here in Germany. I remembered that you kept them in window boxes at your country house, you still do. But when I saw them, I thought that you might like the flower festival too and that we might go sometime…I was always thinking of things you might like" Feliciano explained.

"That's very nice to know" Ludwig said, surprised by the catch in his voice. Feliciano wrapped his arms around his neck and kissed him. It was long, gentle kiss.

"Did you ever think about things like that…about me?" Feliciano asked when he broke away.

"Every day" Ludwig affirmed, affectionately stroking Feliciano's hair behind his ear.

"Like how"?

"Usually it was food" Ludwig replied after a moment of thought. "I always wondered if you would like or dislike the food I ate. It was other things too, though. I had this maid that would sing when she worked, like you do".

Feliciano was smiling foolishly at him and then they were kissing again. They stayed in bed together well into noon, just talking, only rising when a knock came at the door.

"Little Roma's arrived" Gilbert called through the door. "He said something about being pissed about you not calling him, so I would get up".

The Prussian laughed. Ludwig sighed inwardly, he'd completely forgotten Lovino's request to have Feliciano call him. The Italian Nation quickly jumped from bed and threw on Ludwig's blue, cotton bath robe, racing quickly out the door in search of his brother. Ludwig followed, dressing quickly for his morning run. The clothes would provide him an excuse for slipping out of Lovino's company as soon as possible.

When he arrived in his living room, he didn't find the usual bickering that he'd come to expect. Instead, Lovino had his arms wrapped tightly around Feliciano. They were standing so that Ludwig could look directly at Lovino's face over Feliciano's shoulder. Lovino glared at him, but there were tears in his eyes. The elder brother flipped him off as soon as he saw him.

"See, Lovi! I was always right" Felicano said, playfully when he pulled away.

Lovino looked accusingly at Ludwig before he spoke, but the emotions in his eyes contradicted his scowl. Ludwig was confused.

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, Feli" Lovino conceded with uncharacteristic grace.

"About what?" Ludwig inquired. Lovino only glared.

"Oh come on Roma," Gilbert teased, clapping the elder Italian on the shoulder. "Why don't you tell mien bruder how you and Feli got in a huge fight about how Ludwig didn't love him"?

"Yes! I already said Feli won, didn't I?" Romano snapped, shoving Gilbert's hand off him. "Congratulation on your engagement, I guess". Ludwig smiled at him in response. It was genuine smile, that was visible in his eyes.

"No, Lovino. I think I won" Ludwig corrected him, kissing Felicano softly on the cheek. The little Italian leaned happily against his side.

"Damn, that was smooth" Gilbert commented.

"Ugh, Potatoes" Lovino sighed.

"I like potatoes" Feli added, squeezing Ludwig's hand.

**END**

* * *

**PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE review this**. Reviews give me all kinds of the happiness and I'm dying to know what you guys think of the whole story!

Keep in mind this is the end of the song, but **this story has at least one more chapter**. and I think a companion fic, but I still haven't made up my mind.

**I know. I blew off the tomato ring, **but I wanted to make a classier proposal scene.

**I'm my own beta**, so forgive whatever minor mistakes I may have made. I read every chapter many times, so I hope they weren't too bad. If they are too bad, please don't hesitate to inform me!

**I love this whole fandom an awful lot!**

**Happy Super Moon!**


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